So Long and Goodnight
by albe-chan
Summary: Lily Potter marries a man who turns out to be a monster, and when she finally admits it, it's almost too late. Scorpius Malfoy can't stop wanting to know all the secrets she keeps hidden, and more about Lily Potter. And when they get caught up in a relationship that they both learn to rely on? They're almost unstoppable. VERY MATURE. LilyOC/LilyScorpius. Next Gen.
1. Prologue

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Prologue

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Lily Luna Potter, now Lily Nott in fact, stared up at her brand new husband, smiling, because she could see the love she felt for the wizard reflected back at her, and she was excited at the prospect of the rest of her life as Mrs. Thaddeus Nott.

Some might've whispered as her husband, grinning as wide as her, leaned down and kissed her, his mouth moving with warm, possessive precision of just how she liked to be snogged over her own, that they were too young. Lily didn't care. Some definitely said they hadn't been together long enough, and while Lily supposed eighteen months didn't seem like very long, they hadn't been the ones in the thick of it. Thaddeus had, by all intents and purposes, swept her entirely off her feet, and in the whirlwind of candlelit dinners and passionate nights of lovemaking, the mornings waking up in bed when they'd laugh and snuggle and all the many bouquets of flowers he'd brought her, Lily fell in love. He was a respectable wizard, if not with a very respectable surname, considering the side they'd been on in the last wizarding war, but the young redhead didn't care. She was in love with a wizard who was just as in love with her.

The redheaded witch knew she was only nineteen, and knew there were plenty of naysayers, but she couldn't wish for a better wizard to stand across the altar and then walk down the aisle after they were married, and he'd pulled back from the hearty snog after the officiant cleared his throat, as man and wife, with her. "I love you," Lily murmured, looking up at her husband, holding his larger hand in her own, heart threatening to burst with joy.

Thaddeus smiled down at her, blue eyes alight, his golden brown hair falling into his gaze as per usual, begging for her to brush the locks aside, and kissed her again, briefly. "I love you," he said, and smiled as they moved out of the church, a half dozen people taking their photographs, and Lily beamed as her husband pulled her against his side. She just knew they'd make it.

Lily had been married just over a year when doubt started to creep in. The first year of marriage, after they'd returned from their honeymoon, and back to real life, was definitely hard. She'd moved into his manor home, living in his wing and commuting via Floo to work as per usual, but instead of having her own little flat, where she could lounge around in sweats, she lived with her new husband and his other immediate family. And the manor house of Nott Hall wasn't precisely the sort of place one felt comfortable getting a snack in the middle of the night without bothering to put pants on. Lily felt, even after a year, like she was somehow not truly _home_. Sure, all her worldly possessions were there, and she'd quickly learned her way around, but she always seemed to feel as if she was a visitor. Whether because it was so very different than how she remembered her own home, or especially the Burrow, growing up, or because her mother in law was grudgingly polite, at best, to her, Lily didn't know.

She'd tried her damnedest before the wedding, and harder still after, to be nice, and civil, and always impeccably polite to the woman, but somehow, some way, Mrs. Cordelia Nott would _always_ find fault with Lily. And although she tried very hard every damned day she spent among her presence to please the woman, Lily couldn't help but start to wonder if it would _ever_ be enough. She'd loved the woman's son, and simply said yes to sharing the rest of her life with the wizard, but Mrs. Nott Sr. was impossible to placate, as if Lily had done some heinous wrong to her simply by marrying her only son. And Lily knew, the worst part of all of it, the one thing that made her doubt herself, and even her marriage the tiniest bit, was that her husband seemed to almost always agree with his mother.

It could be the most trivial of things. Like the colour of her dress at dinner hadn't been flattering for her skin tone, and her husband would look her up and down, as if she weren't his wife, the woman he claimed he loved, and nod, then agree that she looked kind of pasty. Or if her mother in law commented on the size of her dinner portions and praised her 'youthful' metabolism, Thaddeus would look down, as if contemplating how much she really was eating, and wonder aloud if she should really eat quite that much gravy on her mash. The redhead hated it, hated how small and embarrassed she felt, having tried to look her best and been dismissed so easily, all her hard work on _everything_ else for naught because of one wrong shade of green, or betraying the fact she happened to enjoy eating.

Which wasn't to say she was miserable. Far from it. She still worked, which was a job she adored, at the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, working as a part case worker, part counsellor to children who had been bitten and infected by werewolves in the last Wizarding War, and some who'd been attacked after the war, when Fenrir Greyback had been on the loose, terrorizing people with his almost-pack of werewolves. The majority of her current cases, of which she had about fifteen, were for younger children, and the majority weren't true werewolves. They'd been mauled by Greyback, certainly, but he hadn't been fully transformed, nor had it been a full moon. But there were half a dozen that _were_ true werewolves, who shifted at every full moon, from ages nine to thirteen.

And Lily still visited, often, with her own family, pointedly maintaining her tradition of having every Sunday dinner at her parents' house, her husband usually accompanying her. The redhead enjoyed those times, because the stiff, cold, pureblood Thaddeus was around his parents melted away into her Thad. The man she loved and the wizard who smiled easily, and kissed her when she wasn't expecting it, and always, when they finally got home, made love to her like he had their entire honeymoon, with dedication to her pleasure, and soft, gentle touches, and Lily would lose herself to him as they became one.

All in all, she supposed, marriage had been a rollercoaster thus far, but she knew it would steady out, and they would work through their issues, because they were in love. She still loved Thaddeus with her whole heart, and believed him to be the one for her, even though she knew some of her family didn't. She was still _in love_ with him, because he was her husband, for better or for worse, and she was in for the long haul, no matter the arguments that sometimes arose.

It was precisely two weeks after her one year anniversary everything changed. Only ten days after their long weekend getaway to celebrate the occasion, where Thad had taken her to the Caribbean, to some tiny private, Unplottable island his family owned, and they'd made love on the beach and in the ocean, as well as the bed in their lavish beach house. Lily hadn't wanted to leave, personally, but she new real life couldn't be put on hold forever. And they'd had a great time, although she hadn't been able to get much of a sun tan. She had just gotten home from work, and her back was sore, a headache pulling at her temples. She'd had a session with her eldest case, a thirteen year old girl who was a true werewolf, who'd almost shifted when the redhead had prodded the girl to open up more. And now she was stuck with a case where the girl hated her, most likely, with the passion of a scorned, hormonal teenage girl, and the redheaded witch felt guilty for having pushed her, even if she knew it would make the girl feel better to talk about her issues. And all she'd wanted was some peace and quiet, because her meeting with Heather had simply been the cherry on top of her meeting with the Head of Funding for the Department that morning, that had only been better because the old, stingy bastard didn't shout, but pointedly told her no, and refused to listen to reason.

So when Thaddeus came home, obviously in a mood, and started throwing a temper tantrum about his bullshit job as a star reporter for the daily Prophet, because his editorial had been passed over for something better, Lily told him to shut the fuck up. It was rude, and uncalled for, certainly, because she knew he was simply just stressed because he was being forced to do a story on Squibs living in the Muggle world, the mere thought of which, Lily knew, made him uneasy. They were secluded in his private wing of the manor, but Lily was certain she'd never heard it so utterly silent after that moment.

The words hung there in the air, and as much as Lily wanted to take them back, she couldn't deny, the silence was a blessing to her throbbing head. "Excuse me?" Thaddeus said darkly.

Lily gulped. "My head is pounding, and I can't take you shouting and stomping around," the redhead said, trying not to snap, and made to head to the bathroom for some headache potion.

"No," her husband said, and when Lily looked at him, she saw that his face had gone devoid of any emotion, and his eyes, usually so bright and dancing with life, were a flat blue, like a painting of the ocean versus the real thing. "What did you just say to me?" he asked, back straightening, lip curling, and the look of pureblood aristocracy that Lily so loathed crossed his face as his flat, terrifyingly blue eyes glared back at her.

She frowned. "I told you to shut up, because you're making my headache worse. At least let me get a potion or something!" she said. She made to brush past him, into the bathroom off the little sitting room, but her husband caught her arm roughly and turned her back. "Thad, what are you-?"

Lily couldn't finish the sentence, because in the next moment, the back of Thaddeus's hand struck her hard across the face, his signet ring splitting her lip, and he released her as she fell, crumpling into a heap on the floor, shock and anger and outrage and hurt all clamouring through her. "You don't ever tell me what to do, do you understand?" he growled, looming over her. Lily looked up at him, tasting blood in her mouth, shock parting her mouth, hazel eyes glittering with her fury.

"You hit me," she said, looking at him with disgust.

She flinched a little as he crouched down, grasping her face firmly in his hand. "You deserved it," he said with absolute authority, and Lily felt her blood run cold for a moment, something like terror stealing the breath from her chest, because those flat blue eyes bored into her gaze with terrifying intensity and without a speck of emotion or humanity. "Now do I have to repeat the question, Lily?" he asked in a deadly soft voice.

She shook her head slowly. "I understand," she whispered. Her husband released her and stood up, smoothing his robes and trousers as if she'd been an annoyance.

"Good. Clean yourself up and get dressed for dinner." Lily watched her husband, so very different than the man she'd married, and yet still somehow the same wizard, walk away from her and felt her eyes well with tears, even as she felt sick and ashamed, and utterly, completely worthless.

But she got up, went into the bathroom to take her headache potion and carefully Healed her cut lip and the darkening mark across her cheek, unable to meet her own eyes in the mirror. After she finished, Lily firmed her wobbling lower lip, locked her emotions up tight like any proper pureblood had been trained to do since childhood, and got dressed for dinner, taking care to look her best, and forcing a brilliant smile as she headed down to eat a half hour later.

Much later, after she'd gone to bed, Lily felt her husband slide in beside her, and froze completely as he rolled toward her, spooning her ever so gently from behind. "Lily," he murmured, and the redhead tried to keep a lid on her temper. "Lily, honey, look at me," he whispered, sounding tortured, and Lily took pity on the wizard she'd fallen in love with and rolled part way over to look at her husband over a shoulder.

"What?" she asked softly, her voice stiff with mingled embarrassment and anger. She felt violated, and wronged, and emotionally hurt still even if she fixed her face with a spell, because Thaddeus hadn't apologized for his behaviour earlier, and had acted all through dinner as if nothing had even happened.

"Oh, Lily," he sighed, face crumpling, and pulled her close as she rolled over properly to face him. A sigh eased from between her lips, the lower one still smarting a little from where it had been split and Healed, but Lily cradled her husband's head as he buried his face in her chest, seeming utterly repentant as he sobbed softly. "I'm so sorry, honey. Gods, I don't know what came over me. I never meant to...to hurt you. I love you. So much. I'm so bloody sorry, honey, please don't hate me."

She heard another sob escape him and she pulled him closer, arms tightening comfortingly around him, fingers smoothing through his hair soothingly. "It's okay, Thad," she breathed. He shook his head against her bosom.

"I was just so angry," he admitted, voice muffled against her nightgown. She felt him cuddle her closer. "Godric, Lily, please forgive. I'm so sorry, honey."

"I forgive you," the redhead murmured, and looked down into the twinkling, contrite blue eyes that peered up at her beseechingly. "I love you."

He crushed her to him. "Gods, I don't deserve you, Lily," he whispered, then buried his face against her breasts once more. She smoothed her palms lovingly over his neck and shoulders, feeling the depth of his regret, and forgave him.

"You do," she murmured firmly. "I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to snap at you, and I shouldn't have taken my anger at a bad day out on you."

"I love you, Lily," Thaddeus breathed, and she felt his lips against her pulse point. "Forever."

"Me too, Thad," she said, and when he rolled her over onto her back, moving atop her, she didn't resist as he made love to her, bringing her to a shuddering climax before he lost himself within her.

Her second anniversary was marred by his mother, who Lily knew was only doing so to hurt her son and punish the redhead, having the memorial service for Thaddeus's father, whom Lily had barely ever spoken to, and never outside her husband's company. Theodore Nott had passed away three days before their anniversary, and of course, the family had been devastated, at least when the well-wishers were present, and Cordelia had declared herself 'utterly grief stricken and bereft' so many times Lily wanted to remove those words from existence. But, in true Cordelia fashion, she was perfectly fine the next day, and the one after, even as the redhead started out on the next year of marriage. Thaddeus, after the death of his father, became colder than ever, and Lily, who tried her best to do everything her husband asked or expected of her, seemed to become his favourite source of venting his frustrations. Only when they were in public, or around the redhead's family, was she treated to any level of affection, and although Lily told herself she just had to try harder and be better, she knew grief took many forms and never pushed the issue that her husband had somehow stopped seeing her as worthy of his attentions unless their were observers. She told herself he'd come round, and he might be depressed even, and she could wait for him to become more like his old self as he healed and dealt with the loss of a parent.

By the time her third anniversary rolled around, Lily was no stranger to the act of covering up a few marks here and there, putting on a brave face, and carrying on like nothing was wrong. She knew her husband had a temper and accepted that sometimes, perhaps more often than she thought was warranted, it got away from him, but always, _always_, Thad had apologized after, and made it up to her. Only months after her third anniversary, the redhead was an expert at downplaying the odd mark she couldn't quite conceal, and found it almost second nature to push her emotions down, deep within herself, smile dazzlingly, and pretend she was ecstatic. And although she tried very hard to live up to her husband's expectations, it seemed she couldn't ever quite make it. And more than once in that third year of marriage, Thaddeus had failed to even feel remorse after the fact when he'd struck her. Lily didn't know what to even think at times, because in the darkest moments, she wondered if perhaps her husband and mother in law were right, and that it _was_ her fault Thaddeus lost his temper and hurt her.

By the time Lily and Thaddeus celebrated their fourth anniversary, Lily knew her marriage, the one thing she'd held such hopes for, the one thing she'd thought everyone had been oh so wrong about, had become a nightmare from which she could not wake. Every day she braced for the one thing she would say, or do, or not say, or not do, that would invoke the ire of her husband. Every waking moment she strove for excellence, never succeeding, and being told frequently of it. That she had let the glorious name of Nott down in the eyes of her mother in law. And, by default, her husband as well. And every night, she either cried herself to sleep, or faked arousal for her husband, because that was all she had left, faking it. Faking her arousal, her completion, and her own happiness with her situation.

She knew he'd taken women on the side of their marriage, but the one time she'd brought it up, she'd paid for it, and Lily had learned not to ask where her husband went, or if he'd spent the night with another woman, even when she knew he had. The cad barely even bothered to cover up all the extra-marital witches he shagged, now. And Lily was left trying to be perfect without a chance in Hell of succeeding, knowing the price of failure by heart after four and a half years. The taunts, the verbal assaults that wore down her self confidence and made her doubt herself as a witch, woman, and human being. And, when she couldn't take it any longer and lashed out, feeling hurt and utterly alone, her husband was there to make her pay for it in the flesh.

XXX


	2. 1 - December

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter One - December

It wasn't until she went to Sunday dinner at her parents' house, a tradition she'd tried to keep as much as possible, on a blustery and snowy day after Christmas, that Lily ever thought her world would change for the better. They'd been sitting round the table as they dished out plates and handed bowls of potatoes and carrots and peas and the platter with the big roast chicken, and the stuffing, and of course, the gravy. As always, her mother and father sat at either end of the table, Lily in the seat to her mother's right, her brother James to their father's right, his wife Cleo beside him. It had been many moons since Lily's own husband had graced the Potters' table, but no one mentioned it. That Lily, who had once been devoutly accompanied by Thaddeus, now came alone, and had for the past year, at least. Normally Albus would be to Lily's right, but his chair was empty, so Lily assumed he had other plans.

"So, Dad, I heard the Minister was talking to you about that Werewolf Reform Act." Lily frowned, because she'd heard of that, and her caseload had been centered, lately, around it. The Reform Act was a piece of legislation that was causing a media stir of late, because the sole aim was to undo the law Lily's own Aunt Hermione had forced through a decade and a half ago, that allowed werewolves to have equality opportunity rights should they choose to work, and to give werewolves the right to not disclose their condition on a job application. The premise of the original law that some asinine, in Lily's opinion, politician chose to target, was that Hermione Granger-Weasley believed being a werewolf was a medical condition, the same as having allergies, or being mentally unstable. Lily loathed the idea of reforming the current law, because some of her long term cases had been able to achieve great positions because of the law, once they'd come of age. And Lily had been proud to see them go on to bigger and better things, not being held back by what life had dealt them.

"He did," Harry Potter said, frowning at his elder son. "I don't like the angle they're spinning," he muttered.

James nodded, and Lily agreed. The Werewolf Reform act was being favoured because, mostly, greedy shop owners didn't like employees taking every full moon off, or sometimes a few days leading up to it as well, and the redheaded witch hated that money was somehow the driving force. That it wasn't fair the owners of businesses signed an employee on without knowing they'd be unavailable to work like a 'normal' person, and that was the reason the law was attempting to override those rights.

"It seems like utter bullshit to me," Lily said, feeling relaxed for the first time all week, around her family, and loved ones, people who didn't judge her, but loved her for her faults, or at least in spite of them. "These politicians have no bloody clue that all their hype and propaganda is weighing heavily on kids who aren't even of age to work yet! They don't think about the fact that some people who _happen_ to be werewolves are also great students, and excel at Hogwarts, and are set to take their goddamn NEWTs in June! So what, that great student studies hard, and does Outstanding on all her NEWTs, and then suddenly, oh well, it doesn't matter, you'll never get hired because the one thing that bloody happened when you were ten years old makes you too unavailable? Bullshit!"

James chuckled, and then Lily heard clapping from behind her. She froze, fear clawing up her insides, threatening her facade, but she shoved it down and turned, seeing her brother Albus, looking surprised at her outburst, and a grinning Scorpius Malfoy, who'd been the one clapping.

"Bravo," he said quietly, and Lily had to look away, her face going pink, even as fear coiled, tight and heavy, in the pit of her stomach. She knew Thaddeus loathed her work, and the fact that she was passionate about her cases and the people they each were, and had told her, more than once, she'd have to quit at some point. She'd even been coerced to dropping down to part time and never taking on a new case. Lily had learned not to talk about her work to him, and for a terrifying second, feared that somehow he might find out she'd all but shouted her feelings out loud with righteous fury. In the next breath, she told herself she was being paranoid and yet didn't say anything more, even as Albus and Scorpius joined the table and everyone began eating once more. "You should think about switching careers, Lily," Scorpius said as the conversation about the Werewolf Reform Act resumed around them.

The redhead fought the urge to frown. "Oh?" she said softly, not making eye contact, feeling, as she did any and every time someone not directly related to her happened to be at Sunday dinner, which was distinctly uneasy, when Scorpius spoke directly to her. There was also the added element of having always, personally, found her brother's best friend attractive, and she was inherently timid around other wizards outside her family because her husband had, more than once, more than hinted he would never tolerate her being with, or even flirting harmlessly with or looking sidelong at, another. And the time he'd thought Lily _had _been encouraging another wizard to hit on her, after her second and last attendance at the Daily Prophet staff Christmas party, she'd been unable to Heal the bruises he'd left on her they were so dark.

"Yes," Scorpius said firmly, but softly. "You should go into Magical Law. I bet you'd make a helluva lawyer."

Lily blushed, but shook her head, peeking up at the handsome blond pureblood. She'd seen him, the odd time, at some of the social events the pureblood wizarding families still held every year, since being married to Thaddeus. But she'd never spoken to him, and he'd never gone out of his way, if they happened to be at the same event, to speak with her. Lily had always assumed he'd been forced to attend with his father, and she'd never been absent from her husband's side.

"Oh no," she said softly. "I don't think I'd be a very good lawyer," the redhead replied. "I'm not particularly confrontational," she said, smiling to cover her unease.

"Sure you are," Scorpius said with a tiny frown. "I remember back at Hogwarts, you used to argue with me and Al constantly." He smiled ruefully. "And you usually had us outwitted too, even if we never admitted it."

Lily blushed darker. "Still," she murmured, and looked away again, back at her plate. "I like my job now. I've no desire to change." She took a bite of food, barely speaking for the rest of the meal, and didn't see the way the blond pureblood looked at her curiously every now and then.

She took her leave soon after pudding was done, hugging her brothers and parents and sister in law, feeling sad she would be leaving until next week, going back to her least favourite place, but forced a brilliant smile on her lips and laughed and joked with her brothers and waved away her mother's offer of leftovers with a grin.

"See you," said with a cheery wave, and then headed out, Disapparating in the garden after passing the wards. Scorpius couldn't help but ask Albus, as his friend lingered in the garden for an after dinner fag, a bad habit he'd picked up on his last undercover Auror mission, why Lily seemed so different. Sure, it had been awhile since he'd last spoken to her, and she'd still been a Hogwarts student when he had, but even accounting for the fact she'd grown up and matured in the six or so years since then, he couldn't help but feel she'd become awfully soft spoken and demure.

He knew she'd married Thaddeus Nott, a reporter for the Daily Prophet and a pureblood a couple years older than himself he didn't know very well, and he'd even spotted her at the odd party his grandmother had thrown that he'd been forced to attend. But she'd always seemed the same from afar, on her husband's arm, smiling and looking perfectly at ease, and he'd always been so miserable and bored he hadn't wanted to interrupt her if she happened to be enjoying herself. Now that Scorpius had talked to her, or at her at least, and interacted with her, he couldn't help but wonder just why Lily had gone from a feisty, bold, brave young woman to a quiet, timid little mouse.

"What do you mean?" Albus asked.

Scorpius frowned, looking at the spot where she'd Disapparated. "She's different. You remember back in the day, Lily was always such a pain in the arse for us. Always wanting to know what we were doing, or where we were going, or who we were hanging out with. Hell, you remember the summer before Seventh Year, when she found out she got made Prefect, and spied on us and ratted out all the fun shit we tried to do at your place?" he demanded. That Lily had been almost unbearable on her quest for justice, and it didn't equate in his mind with the Lily from dinner who wouldn't even look him in the eye when she spoke.

Albus chuckled. "Yeah, she was such a nosy swot." He shrugged and puffed his cigarette, greyish blue smoke curling from the end of it. "I dunno. She grew up I guess," he said. Scorpius frowned some more. "Why does it matter?"

Scorpius shook his head. He couldn't put a finger on it, but for some reason, it bothered him. It felt like part of Lily's light had been dimmed, that she'd faded a little, and he wanted to know why, even if he felt like a fool a little for it. It was none of his business, and no one else seemed perturbed by her behaviour. Perhaps he was over analyzing it all. "I dunno," he admitted. "It's just...she seems different. And I could swear, when she turned around after her big speech about the unfairness of the Reform Act being put out, she looked _afraid_." He shook his head, because he couldn't be sure, but his gut told him she'd tensed from fear for a moment. "And last I knew anyway, which has been a long while admittedly, your little sister wasn't afraid of anything, least of all me, or you."

Albus tilted his head a little. "Yeah," the dark haired wizard said slowly, taking a thoughtful drag from his fag now. "Actually, now you mention it, Lily's kind of jumpy all the time." He frowned. "I mean, don't get me wrong, like you said yourself, mate, she's a little nutty and she can be a spaz at times, but she wasn't ever really _jumpy _before. But even a couple weeks ago, I accidentally let the wind get the door when I came out for a smoke after dinner, and she almost wet herself, and jumped about a mile when it slammed." Scorpius felt his suspicion roused, and his gut told him there was something deeper going on. "Look, she's probably just stressed out or something. I dunno, mate, but it's Lily. If she's got issues, she'll probably talk to Rose or Mum, not me, or you."

"Yeah," Scorpius said slowly as Albus outed his smoke and Vanished the butt and they headed in.

"Anyway, if she _is_ stressed, I bet it's because she married a dolt. You should read the shite that pompous windbag gets published nowadays, because it's downright bigoted sometimes. I bet the rows those two have are legendary," he said, and smirked, as if picturing his sister and her husband rowing about their differing political viewpoints.

Scorpius snorted. "I'd almost feel bad for the idiot, but he probably deserves whatever she dishes out," the blond wizard muttered, recalling being on the receiving end of Lily's hexes before.

"Actually, if they do row at all, it's never in public," Albus said casually. "You can tell she adores the bastard, even if she probably wouldn't mind hitting him every now and then, but any time I've seen them disagree, Lily usually concedes defeat."

"And you?" Scorpius asked, feeling something settle uncomfortably in his gut at that.

"Me what?" Albus asked, pausing in the lounge as they walked back to the dining room.

"Do you like Lily's husband?"

Scorpius felt himself holding his breath, wondering why it mattered. He barely knew Lily, and the Potters' family dramas were absolutely none of his business. Why was he asking his friend if he liked his brother in law? But Albus, apparently, held no qualms divulging his family's secrets. "Do I like him? No. Thaddeus Nott's kind of a stuck up prick, honestly. But if Lily loves him and he loves her, which I assume they do, I can deal with him." Albus chuckled. "Would I be upset if they split? Only if the fucker broke my sister's heart." They continued back to the dining room, and Albus smirked wickedly. "You should hear what James says about him, though," he said loudly as they resumed their seats around the table.

"What I say about who?" James asked.

"Lily's husband," Albus said, looking smug, and Scorpius watched as James Potter's normally calm, smiling face, morphed into a scowl.

"Albus, that's enough," Ginny said, even as Cleo placed a hand on her husband's arm.

Scorpius looked at James with interest, even though he had a feeling whatever he might hear he wouldn't like any more than James did. "Come on, Mum," Albus said, rolling emerald eyes. "Even you said Thad's a snob."

Ginny looked scandalized and Scorpius saw Harry Potter's mouth twitch a little. "I did not!" she said firmly. "I said his mother is definitely a snob, and I'm surprised he didn't inherit it from her."

"But that he did inherit it from his father," Albus continued, and Ginny looked sternly at her son.

"I don't like that bastard," James growled. "He _is _a snob, he's got a shite attitude, and I know for a fact he's fucked around on Lily."

Scorpius's brows went up. "James, enough," Ginny hissed.

"He has, Mum," her elder son said stubbornly. "I don't care what anyone says." The redhead opened her mouth to reply, but then James said, "Why do you think he hasn't shown his face here again, Mum? He's a cheating bastard, and if he dared, I'd-"

"Do nothing that would be against the law, like assaulting him," Harry finished firmly, glaring sternly.

"What-?" Scorpius asked, feeling like he was prying into business he shouldn't be part of, but it seemed the Potters accepted him as one of their own.

"Lily's husband propositioned me, a little over a year ago," James's wife admitted. "Of course, I said no, told him he was disgusting, and informed Lily." She glanced at James. "It was at Christmas before last, and he'd been drinking." Cleo shrugged. "She seemed obviously upset, and they went right home, but it seemed like she wasn't surprised. If anything, it was like she was embarrassed he'd hit on me, and she kept apologizing."

By the time Scorpius got back to his flat, bearing an almost overflowing plate of leftovers courtesy of Ginny Potter, he'd found far more questions about Lily Potter than answers. And while a logical portion of his mind told him to leave it be, and not get involved, because it was not only none of his business, but also zero of his concern, he couldn't help it. He wanted answers, wanted to know more about the witch Al's little sister had grown into, and wanted to solve the puzzle that was Lily Potter. And the curious side of him was already theorizing, and thinking up how to find answers to his questions.

Whether it was because he'd kind of always had a fancy for her, not that he'd ever dared to act on it or admit it aloud to his best mate or his best mate's older brother, or because he just felt a deep rooted concern in his belly that there was much more beneath the shiny, jubilant surface Lily presented, he wasn't sure. All Scorpius knew for certain was that now that he'd come back to Britain for good, having transferred from an abroad position as a curse breaker for Gringotts' Bank permanently, he would figure out just why Lily was no longer the vibrant witch he'd once known and almost fancied. And even as he laid down to sleep, he began to think about just how he would go about getting behind Lily's guard and really getting to know her.

XXX


	3. 2 - February

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Two - February

"Lily," Scorpius said suddenly from behind her, making the redhead flinch a tiny bit, almost dropping the plate she was washing by hand at the kitchen sink. "What in the name of Merlin's bollocks are you doing?"

"Washing up," she replied succinctly. "And don't scare me like that!" she added firmly.

"You were deep in thought," he said.

Lily shrugged, because she _had_ been thinking, about what she was supposed to do about the fact Scorpius Malfoy had inserted himself into her life almost seamlessly in the last month and a half. Showing up at the Ministry, and her parents' place on Sundays for dinner, and even recently, at her husband's home during the day when Lily was home on her off days. It wasn't that she minded and she was careful to keep things utterly platonic, but she knew what it would look like to an outsider, and she knew if her husband found out, she'd be done for. But the redheaded witch couldn't help, especially when she inevitably compared him to the wizard she'd married, liking just about everything about Scorpius. She never had to think about what she was going to say, she didn't care if she offended him, and because she'd known him since she was ten, Lily couldn't help but feel, after so much recent exposure, utterly comfortable around the tall, blond pureblood once more.

"So what?" she said, continuing her washing and rinsing of the dishes.

"Is that why you're doing that the Muggle way?" Scorpius asked, and Lily bit her lip against the surge of desire as his hand moved to rest comfortably at her waist, his presence comforting behind her. The redhead was certain there was no beyond-platonic friends intentions when Scorpius touched her. She'd spent many evenings having her apparently myriad faults pointed out to her, and then thoroughly dissected on how she might improve them, and those moments had convinced her there was nothing worth wanting she could offer Scorpius as more than a friend.

"Sure," she said easily, because she doubted he'd like the truth of the matter.

"Which means no," the blond replied softly, his chin hooking over her head as he offered her the comfort of an embrace. Lily tried to resist the urge to melt back against him. "The real reason then?"

Lily sighed, because she hated this. She knew Scorpius would push, and she would get defensive and angry, and they would undoubtedly argue, and then she'd yell at him. But Lily didn't want to be angry or argue with Scorpius, or even yell at him. So she cut to the chase, hoping her friendship and not-quite more with Scorpius was strong enough the blond pureblood wouldn't do anything stupid. Scorpius, a man she wished she could be with, if only once, just to say she'd managed to pull that sexy of a wizard, and, although she didn't even fully let the thought formulate, the man who she couldn't help but think would've made a much better husband than her own. "Honestly?" she sighed, and rinsed the dish she'd washed then shut off the water. "I…" Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, like always, but Lily swallowed back the instant lies she could think up to deflect from the truth. Instead she squared her shoulders, trying to summon her cautious courage, and said firmly, "My husband said he preferred them washed by hand." She didn't add the part about his comment that she'd be his House Elf, staring silently at the faucet instead. Scorpius didn't say anything, and she felt her mouth moving to fill the silence after several tense moments. "And… Well, there's not really an option of _not_ doing it that way."

The redhead bit her lip, feeling Scorpius go completely still behind her, pulling back ever so slightly in the next beat. "Lily," he said very softly, and she turned to look at him, meeting his dark, stormy grey eyes, and swallowed thickly, waiting. "Does he put his hands on you?" Scorpius finally asked after what felt like an eternity in a breath, and Lily couldn't hold his gaze, afraid to see pity, or revulsion, or anger there.

"You can't tell anyone," she whispered, hating that tears burned behind her eyelids, shame making her cheeks burn, and her chest felt like it might explode as she held in a sob. "You have to promise that you won't tell anyone," she added shakily, chancing a glance up at him.

Scorpius looked at her thoughtfully, as if deciding whether or not he could hear the answer should he be bound to secrecy if he received it. "That seems like answer enough," he said at last, and Lily forced herself to keep breathing. "How long?"

The redhead felt her control slip at the tenderness in Scorpius's voice, and a tear trickled from her full eyes and down her cheek, swiftly followed by another. "Too long," she whispered. Scorpius folded her into himself, and Lily let go, her tears flowing hot and fast now, her tired body no longer able to hold back the sobs.

"Shh," Scorpius murmured against her ear, stroking her back and hair, cuddling her close as she buried her face in his chest and cried her heart out, letting all her emotions rage out of control. And before long her sobs turned into hiccups and her tears slowly dried, leaving Lily feeling blissfully empty and utterly exhausted. "Do you want to leave him?" the blond finally asked after what felt like an eternity to Lily, where she held onto him, trying to soak up some of his strength, and he held her close, keeping her fears at bay.

Lily swallowed. She didn't know if she could just _leave_. There was still the probably foolish part of her that loved the wizard she knew Thaddeus Nott could be. Her Thad, the man she'd fallen for, the sweet, thoughtful person who had loved her in return. But Thaddeus… Now she didn't love him, that Lily knew. But to simply leave her entire life…? The redhead hadn't ever even considered it. She'd felt so isolated and alone, even though she'd maintained her family relationships as much as possible, Lily hadn't ever considered leaving an option. She'd always assumed she would be alone if she left Thaddeus, and the fear that her husband and his family, with their money and pureblood connections, could find her if she tried, had kept her with him.

"I… I don't know," she admitted in a croaky voice after a moment. She didn't meet Scorpius's eyes, keeping her face buried in his chest, but felt him go still again.

"You don't know if you want to, or you don't know if you can?" he clarified, sounding almost desperate.

"I don't know if I can," she said, finally meeting his dark grey gaze fleetingly. "He… They'll find me." She stared at the wet spot on his robes she'd made crying.

"If you want to leave, Lily," Scorpius said, tilting her chin back up, looking at her very seriously but without any emotion, "you leave. And I can promise you, if you tell me you want to leave, we'll go right now. I can keep you safe."

Lily's eyes widened. "I can't," she said automatically. "I have to have dinner on the table at-" She broke off then looked at her watch. "Shit!" she breathed, and pulled abruptly away, moving to the stove. "I have to start dinner. You have to go," she said firmly, telling herself she'd have to use a tiny bit of magic to speed it along, and hoped she could get it done before Thaddeus would get home, probably right at six because she'd gotten distracted. And Lily knew if Scorpius stayed, she'd never get dinner ready, especially if he kept looking so earnest and trustworthy and bloody dependable. She'd spent the last four years relying only on herself, damn it!

"Lily, you don't-"

"Yes, I do!" she snapped. "Please, Scorpius, _go_. Look, I…" She paused in her wand waving for the prepwork for roast beef, and bit her lip. "I'll think about what you said," she murmured. "And thank you, really, but I-"

"You're better than this," Scorpius said, for the first time looking sorry for her, and Lily's spine straightened. "But if you're not ready, I can't make you go."

She watched him turn away and Floo home, and Lily forced herself to think only of prepping dinner and getting the damn roast in the oven so it would be done at six. She had a tight schedule, and deviating from it usually meant she'd pay for it later on.

The redhead was just taking the main course to the table, set immaculately, when her husband and mother in law showed up in the formal dining room, the latter holding the former's arm, and Lily forced a brilliant smile, hoping even though she knew from thousands of experiences it would be for naught, she'd done well.

"Dinner looks good," Thaddeus said, sounding in a relatively good mood for the first time in weeks, and Lily relaxed a tiny bit. He looked at Lily sharply, and she lowered her own gaze demurely, then peeked back up from under her lashes at him, licking her lips nervously as she waited for her mother in law's assessment. To her surprise, Thaddeus broke away from his mother and strode toward her, around the table. "You look even better," he said softly, and Lily felt her heart start up double time as he pulled her close, leaned down and kissed her.

"Thank you," Lily breathed when he'd pulled back, smiling shyly, and beamed up at him.

"I like this dress. I like it a _lot_, honey," he rumbled, and Lily blushed, because she rather liked the dress too. A deep green colour, modest neckline and long sleeves, but with a deep back, exposing her flawless, porcelain flesh, her hair carefully bound over her left ear. And it was just short enough to showcase her long, creamy legs, and long enough to be respectable at barely above the knee.

"Thank you," Lily said again, genuine warmth infusing her tone, and smiled as her husband kissed her again briefly.

"She's been crying," Cordelia Nott said at last, finally having found something to critique Lily for.

Lily, who bit her tongue against the urge to snap something rude back at her mother in law, merely looked up at Thaddeus, who'd pulled back to frown a tiny bit. "I did. It was silly, really," she murmured, looking properly contrite, as if she realized the idiocy of her nature, like her husband claimed she should regularly. "I let myself get distracted getting ready, and I thought the roast was going to be burnt, and I just fell apart like a fool," Lily said, the lie coming out with perfect inflection and just the right amount of self deprecation her husband and mother in law would be mollified.

"Silly thing," Thaddeus teased, and brushed a wayward curl behind her ear. "My silly little wife," he murmured almost adoringly, and Lily fought the urge to cringe as she forced a smile.

"Foolish indeed," Cordelia sniffed. "Perhaps you should learn to better keep your emotions in check, dear," she said icily, and Lily tried not to react. Cordelia, lacking any emotions other than hate and displeasure herself, loathed that the rest of the population had things like feelings, and expected everyone else to act like herself.

"Yes, I'll definitely have to work on that, Mrs. Nott," Lily replied, nodding at her mother in law respectfully, as if grateful for the input, and Cordelia sniffed again, with distaste.

"Sit," she snapped, and a House Elf appeared to pull out her chair for her, and the woman settled herself easily in the right hand seat from the head of the table. Lily was shocked again when Thaddeus pulled out her chair for her, but smiled delightedly as she sat across from his mother and he pushed her in gently and with flawless pureblood manners.

The House Elf served them, as if it had been the one to painstakingly prepare dinner, and Lily made sure to take dainty portions, knowing Thaddeus would critique her if he thought she was eating too much. "I've got brilliant news," Thaddeus said after they were served and the House Elf had disappeared. Lily took a sip of wine from her half full glass. Thaddeus never liked her having more than that, claiming he had no need for a lush of a wife, and she was too sloppy when drunk to be of any use. Cordelia belted back a half glass in one swallow. Apparently having a lush for a mother wasn't nearly so heinous.

"Do share, darling," Mrs. Nott Sr. said indulgently, putting away the rest of her wine and pouring herself some more while picking at her dinner. The redheaded witch cut a tiny bite of roast and speared it with her fork.

Lily peeked up at Thaddeus, who was grinning, and held back the urge to flinch as he reached for her right hand. "I've been made Weekend Edition editor," he said proudly, and Lily felt something like shock rooting her to the spot.

"Congratulations," Cordelia said blandly, having zero interest in her son's career or his ambitions, so long as they didn't make their family look bad. Lily forced herself to smile, even as ice cold dread began to steal through her insides.

"It won't be announced until the Saturday edition, of course," Thaddeus continued, even as Lily stared at him, fork poised in midair, her ears ringing gently as shock numbed her, "but the former Editor for the Weekend Edition passed in his sleep last night, and they're looking to bring in some youth and new blood to the Editorial staff. And they'll be printing my latest Editorial, too, with the announcement."

XXX


	4. 3

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Three

When they'd gotten married, Lily had wanted, despite her young age, children, and quite badly. Thaddeus had patiently, and practically, told her there was plenty of time still, and as they were both young, him being only four years her senior, they would be smarter to wait and enjoy married life before they even thought about babies. Lily had, after a year, been grateful that Thaddeus had wanted to wait, although she still longed for a baby and children, because marriage was more than enough of a challenge. By the time she'd had her fourth anniversary, Lily had changed her mind, and while her body longed to nurture and carry life, her mind was pleased that her husband had wanted to solidify his career by reaching the coveted goal of Editor before they even thought of procreating.

Lily didn't want to bear any children of Nott. She knew her mother in law and husband would warp a delicate, malleable thing like a child into something she would loathe, and it would be yet another tie to her husband and his family she'd have to sever if ever she wanted to leave. And after Scorpius had asked her that afternoon, if she truly wanted to leave, Lily knew she could never risk getting pregnant by Thaddeus. He'd let her go, maybe, if he could have their child, and Lily knew she'd never be able to bear that, any more than she could bear staying with him forever, enduring his temper and fury, and possibly subjecting her child to a similar fate. And the redheaded witch had been certain that, because of the Daily Prophet's notorious lack of retirees, the chances of her husband being named Editor any time soon were slim.

But now that he _had_ been promoted, and achieved his goal of being among the coveted Editorial staff at the Prophet, he would undoubtedly set his next goal on siring a pompous, perfect little heir for his family. And because she didn't share her change of heart on wanting children with him, Lily didn't imagine he'd want to wait any longer. He was nearing thirty, after all, and while they were both still young, she was positive Thaddeus wasn't immune to the snide hints his mother had been dropping since his father had passed the year before about maintaining the family line and name. It was, after all, his duty as a pureblood of one of the noble Twenty Eight families, to sire a son and heir. Lily felt like she was going to be sick, despite not having eaten a single thing all day.

She flinched when Thaddeus squeezed her hand, shaken from her shocked stupor and her musings. "This is the part where you say congratulations, Lily," he said icily, and Lily blinked, setting her fork back down.

"Congratulations," she breathed, and reached to cover his hand that was holding hers almost too tight now with her free one. "I always knew you'd be Editor before thirty," she added, forcing her lips to curve upward in a parody of pleasure. Inside she wanted to cry. Because now that his ambitions at work had been reached, Thaddeus would certainly turn his ambitions to his home life. And Lily didn't know, after all the years and the too many to recall moments she'd been struck by her husband, if she'd be able to stomach him returning to their marriage bed with vigor.

It certainly explained his actions thus far tonight, she mused. Why he'd been so complimenting and attentive to her. And if that was only the tip of the iceberg, Lily didn't know how to handle what would come later. She'd gotten used to loneliness in the last year of her marriage, and to think that now Thaddeus would be there, as often as it took for her to get knocked up, made Lily uneasy. Her husband would undoubtedly, if she knew him at all, be bent upon a child, and she had no doubts he would conquer the challenge of fathering a child through any and every means necessary like he'd done with his career, and she'd have to pretend to be thrilled all her supposed dreams were coming true. Because Lily had no doubts should she admit she was no longer inclined toward children, Thaddeus would be angry, and wouldn't hesitate to demonstrate his displeasure upon her.

"You don't seem excited," he said, the very faintest hint of malice behind the softly spoken words. Lily gasped and clutched the back of his much larger hand with her free one as he gripped her right hand in a tight, painful hold.

"I am," she said instantly. "I'm just speechless," she said. "It hasn't sunk in yet." She licked her lips, trying to think on her feet and be smart. She smoothed her hand up his arm, ignoring the painful hold he hand on her hand, and forced herself to smile wide and delightedly once more. "I can't wait," she said very softly, looking up into his brilliantly blue eyes, seeing the hardness there soften ever so slightly, a tiny hint of the man she fell in love with shining through his cold, pureblood mask. "You know this was what I always wanted when we got married, and I just can't believe it's happening," she added, then held her breath as her husband regarded her critically.

To her undying relief, he smiled, his gaze softening, and released her aching hand that she instantly put in her lap. "You're welcome, honey," he said graciously, and the redhead gritted her teeth at the condescension in his tone.

"Indeed, Lily, dear, you should feel quite privileged, as I myself did," Cordelia cut in, and her son glanced at her, as Lily picked up her fork once more and mechanically took her bite of food. "Let us hope you're up to the task of carrying on our proud family name, though if you come from Weasley stock, I've no doubts you'll easily pop out a half dozen children should my son desire them."

Lily tried not to let her revulsion at that idea show, even as Thaddeus laughed. "Not quite, Mother. I should imagine one or two would suffice."

Lily forced herself not to react, even as Thaddeus and his mother spent the rest of dinner talking of the future, speaking of Lily like she wasn't present and theorizing whether their children would resemble their father, which was to be hoped for, and arguing over suitable names for babies Lily couldn't fathom and didn't remotely want any longer. In her mind, she was replaying her afternoon conversation with Scorpius, and the expression he'd worn when he'd told her, baldly and with honesty in his eyes, if she wanted to leave, he would keep her safe.

Now that Thaddeus had been made Weekend Editor, Lily knew her life was bound to be far more complicated if she stayed. But the thought of leaving was almost too much to bear even considering. She had married her husband for better or worse, and she had to know she'd given her marriage her all. And the fear of the unknown, living without Thaddeus after so long, was scary to her. She'd met him just out of Hogwarts, her first intern position at the Ministry, and married him at nineteen, and never truly known adult life without him by her side. No, she couldn't just up and leave, and she wouldn't. She was in it for the long haul, and Lily had no intentions of quitting now

Lily decided that she would give her husband the benefit of the doubt, she'd try one last time, even though part of her felt like it would be a waste of time, like all the others. But she wouldn't stop trying so long as she believed the man she loved was inside Thaddeus somewhere, and until she knew her Thad was well and truly gone, Lily would stay. Even if Scorpius and all the rest didn't understand and hated her for it.

After dinner and dessert, Lily excused herself to see to the washing up. She knew, from experience, her morning would be shite if she didn't get to the dishes soon, because everything would be a stuck on nightmare to deal with by hand. And she was positive the three House Elves the Nott family employed, grudgingly, were forbidden to assist her, even to soak them. Although she sometimes found that after large parties, the dishes would all have magically fit in a massive tub of hot water, soaking before she got to them. She never mentioned it to a living soul, and nor did the smallest Elf who was behind the thoughtfulness, for which they were both secretly grateful.

Lily was just finishing up the silverware, feeling tired, her feet aching in her heels, looking forward to the thought of bed, when a pair of warm hands slid over her hips and a very male chest, warm and solid, pressed against her back. And for one traitorous moment, Lily, tired and focused on her task, imagined it was Scorpius who was behind her, and she melted back with a content sigh against him, eyelids fluttering closed.

"Why don't you leave the rest of that, take a night off, and come upstairs with me," her husband said in a low, husky voice against her ear, and Lily's eyes snapped open abruptly. His hands moved up her sides and around, cupping her breasts, rolling her nipples through her clothes far too roughly for her sensitive flesh, making her squeak.

"I really should-" Lily breathed, heart rate spiking but not from arousal, even as her husband pulled her close from behind, his strong arm effectively locking her against him.

"The Elves can finish, honey," he said firmly, and Lily gulped, knowing what would be expected of her. She turned in her husband's embrace and lifted onto her toes to kiss him, closing her eyes, hating that her mind strayed to other, more pleasurable to kiss wizards, and she couldn't help but wish she was snogging Scorpius Malfoy instead of her husband. "Come upstairs with me," he grunted, at last breaking away, having half undressed Lily where she stood against the sink. "Now," he added sternly, and grasped her hand, pulling her along as he marched with his long legs and she jogged along to keep up, all the way up the stairs and to their bedroom. Lily was breathless, but then Thaddeus was pressing her up against the closed door to their bedroom, kissing her again, and the redheaded witch tried to gasp in enough air to breathe properly in between hungry kisses.

"Thad," she gasped, heart still pounding, feeling dizzy. "I need to breathe," she panted, and he pulled back, allowing her grateful lungfuls of oxygen, at least for as long as it took to peel her out of her dress. And when she stood in naught but knickers and heels Thaddeus groaned as his blue eyes devoured the sight of her and then pressed himself close once more.

The dark blond wizard snogged her, and Lily groaned as she was finally able, after getting her breathing at least under control, to enjoy the kiss. Thaddeus palmed her breasts as he snogged her, still entirely clothed, and Lily recalled a night they'd come for a rendezvous, during some dreadfully dull Charity Fundraiser Gala, in his bedroom, when they'd been dating, and he'd stripped her, then fucked her against the bedroom door. He hadn't gotten undressed then, either, and she wondered if her husband was remembering.

Lily shuddered with mingled arousal and fear as her husband's large, warm hand dragged down her side, then dipped into her knickers. She groaned as a finger teased her, and then flinched, arousal dampening, as Thaddeus nipped her too hard as he kissed down the side of her neck. "Fuck, I can't wait," her husband grunted, and she whimpered as his mouth dropped to suckle her nipple as he pushed her panties down her hips, the fabric pooling around her heels.

"Thad," Lily murmured, and then gasped as he husband pushed two fingers deep into her, because she wasn't quite ready enough and there wasn't much worse than a dry entry. She tensed, nails digging into his shoulders, even through his robes and shirt. "Unh!" she grunted, because the withdrawal was even worse, but then his thumb swirled, hot and fast, over her clit, and Lily's arousal jacked right back up.

"Oh fuck yeah, honey. It's been too fucking long," he groaned. Lily wondered what he meant, because she'd never once, ever, denied her husband sex, and to her recollection, they'd last done it on Monday. And then, to her surprise, her husband dropped to his knees, just like he had all those long years ago at that awful party his mother had been throwing, and easily lifted one of her thighs onto his shoulder. Her mouth parted in shock now, just as it had done then, and Lily gasped, and arched into the sensation of his mouth moving upon her. His tongue delved between the folds of her sex, making her hotter and wetter than she'd been in ages, and instinctively, Lily's hands fisted in his hair to hold him there, even as his hot, wicked tongue teased her clit before dipping into her again. He burrowed his fingers into her again, the way slicked with his saliva and her raging arousal now, and Lily moaned as his talented lips suckled her clit as he fingered her.

"Oh Gods, yes, _yes_!" Lily moaned, and just as she felt like she was going to come, her husband pulled back completely, and she almost sobbed with the denial of release, even as Thaddeus stood and kissed her roughly.

"Not yet, my naughty girl," he rumbled after breaking the kiss, and Lily groaned when she felt something hot and hard nudging into her slick, molten pussy. "But this time you don't even have to try to be quiet, honey," he rumbled, making Lily blush a little, even as he hooked his forearms under her thighs, lifting her up and open, back braced against the door, and filled her in one long, slow push.

She moaned, and even though part of her detested her husband and she was certainly afraid of him, in that moment, Lily remembered what it was like to be in love. It was one of the little glimpses she got, every now and then, of the man she loved and had married, under the hard, icy shell he'd grown, and the only things that mattered were each other and the love they'd shared. "Oh, Thad, _yes_," she moaned softly, trying to touch all of him at once, hungry for the pleasure she knew he could bring.

"Fuck yes," he groaned, and set a hard fast pace that raced them to completion, and Lily felt herself trying to stave off the inevitable. She wanted him to make love to her, like they used to. Hell, the time he'd fucked her against this very door, he'd taken almost thrice as long with her, letting her enjoy her ascent to heaven. And although Lily felt her body betraying her will, reaching a sharp, almost painful peak with a loud cry and clenching of all her muscles, she couldn't deny it was almost just as good the second time around as she felt Thaddeus lose himself, bucking wildly before he tensed and dropped into nirvana with her.

Trembling and panting, she opened her eyes and smiled with lazy, sated satisfaction at her husband. He smirked back, then withdrew and released her legs. When he pulled back a moment later, Lily, trembling and standing on wobbly legs, felt bereft. She was cold and naked, and somehow felt oddly used as her husband tucked himself away, looking almost flawless once more as he smoothed his robes. Her heart, buoyed up on the remembered bliss and the high of orgasm, sank as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his face once more set in that pureblood mask of icy disdain.

"Fuck, honey, I almost forgot after all this time how much better you are out of bed than in it," he said, looking smug, and Lily felt shame turning her cheeks pink as she looked away, pulling her panties up and covering herself with her dress. "Go take a shower. I've got some writing I need to get done before bed." Lily moved aside as Thaddeus moved toward the door again, and as it closed firmly behind him, the redheaded witch felt tears welling in her eyes.

She kicked off her heels and went to the bathroom, feeling a sick sense of loss as she used a Contraception Charm on herself and flicked on the shower with a wave of her wand. She couldn't meet her own eyes in the mirror, instead looking at her kiss swollen lips and the vague red marks her sensitive, pale flesh had held as reminders Thaddeus had fucked her. Tears threatened to spill, and Lily hurriedly stepped into the shower after undressing swiftly again, even as she told herself to stop being silly and get it together. So what if her husband had acted like desiring her had been a temporary state of mind and a chore ticked off his list? And so what if it hadn't been as meaningful and heartfelt as last time they'd done it in that position and location? And so bloody fucking what if she wanted to cry because she felt like little more than a living breathing sex toy after that interlude? Things could always be worse. And as Lily washed up, she finally forced her tears back down inside, because she couldn't afford to cry, and she couldn't afford to lose focus, because life was about to get a whole lot messier, she was sure.

XXX


	5. 4 - March

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Four - March

"Lily."

The redhead froze, the brush halfway poised to stroke through her almost tamed mass of wavy and curly dark red hair. Hazel eyes found blue in the vanity mirror, and Lily swallowed thickly, because her husband did _not_ look pleased. "Yes?" she murmured softly, forcing herself not to drop her gaze after she turned to look at him properly over her shoulder, even as she set the hair brush down.

The redheaded witch watched as her husband threw something on the floor, and when she took in the scrap of baby blue lace and silk, she understood immediately. "What the fuck?"

Lily didn't require him to say more, because the bloodstain spoke volumes without words. She wasn't pregnant. Again. Which Lily knew for a fact, even before she'd gotten her period early that morning, because she'd been using Contraceptive Charms on herself in secret, every time her husband had fucked her in the last month. She might be able to pretend and fake excitement at having Thaddeus Nott's baby, but in reality, Lily was nowhere near excited at the notion. And she would do whatever it took to make sure it _didn't_ happen.

The first period had been explained away in that, obviously, she'd been past the baby bearing part of her cycle, and it was to be expected, but now that Lily had gotten her period again, which in and of itself was a bane upon her existence, she now had to face her husband's displeasure she hadn't instantly gotten with child.

"I don't know," she whispered, looking down, and feigning disappointment in herself. "I wanted it to happen so bad," she added, hoping she wasn't hamming it up too much.

Lily felt, rather than heard, her husband come toward her, and braced for the worst. It came. "Lies!" Thaddeus, snarled, and she flinched hard as he grasped a handful of her long, politely unruly hair he'd forbade her to cut. "You weren't even trying!" he snarled, jerking her by the hair off the little stool before her vanity and to her feet.

Lily felt her heart start to race, fear-laced adrenaline coursing through her. "No," she sobbed, and when Thaddeus turned her around she knew what was coming. The blow hit her in the corner of her jaw, her mandible clicking out and then back into place painfully, and Lily saw stars. "No, no, I swear, I never-!" she pleaded, but part of her knew it was too late.

"Shut up!" Thaddeus roared, and the next blow came to her ribs. Lily crumpled, losing her breath, and sank to her knees despite the painful grip her husband still had on her hair. Her sobs seemed to echo in the bathroom as her husband stood her up only to knock her own again, this time hitting her in the mouth, making her blood spurt up and out through her tender, split lip. "You will do what I tell you!" her husband roared, and Lily tried to be invisible, tried to ignore the pain that rained down on her, and most of all, tried to ignore the sounds she couldn't hold back, the whimpers and cries of pain as her husband beat her bloody and bruised. "And as the fucking Gods are my witness, you will birth me the next heir in the the noble Nott line, bitch, and you'll do whatever it takes to make sure I fuck that brat into your belly. Do you understand?" he snarled. Lily couldn't answer through her sobs, and Thaddeus hit her harder in displeasure.

At last, she was left trembling and huddled in a ball on the bathroom floor, sobbing and thoroughly broken. Her lip was bleeding heavily, spattering her with her own blood with every gasping breath she took, her left eye was black and swelling shut, and she was almost positive one or more of her ribs were cracked. Lily felt tender and sore all over, after being dragged to her feet on legs incapable of holding her upright, only to be knocked, or kicked, or thrown down yet again. And even as she curled in a defensive position, trying to avoid more pain, Lily wished she could do enough, or be enough, just as herself, for this man.

"You disgust me," Thaddeus spat, breathing heavily and, even though Lily didn't look at him, she knew he'd be smoothing the wrinkles from his robes and righting his mussed, dishevelled hair. "You'd better pray to fucking every God your smart assed, pathetic self can think of, Lily, that your fat ass gets knocked up by this time next month," he snarled, and she curled tighter as he leaned down menacingly over her. "Or so help me fucking Merlin, bitch, I'll make you wish your mother used a Contraceptive Charm on you." He grasped her chin in a vice-like grip. "Do you fucking understand me?"

Lily nodded, trying to hold in her sobs lest it annoy him into hitting her again, and felt her breath huff out in relief as he pulled back, throwing her face aside.

"Try harder, Lily," he said coldly, and walked out of the bathroom, slamming the door to their bedroom, making Lily's teeth rattle. She wasn't sure how long she laid there, shivering and trying to keep herself together, before crawling to the shower, grasping her wand off the vanity. She healed herself as the hot water beat down on her, and Lily tried to scrub the dirt off her soul that she invariably felt after her husband put his hands and fists on her. She assumed he'd gone to work when she finally emerged back into the bedroom and found the youngest, smallest House Elf changing the bed. If it noticed that she couldn't quite get her tender lip to heal properly, or that she still had a bruise on her thigh from a vicious kick she hadn't spotted, it didn't mention it, even as it flashed large eyes toward Lily for a beat, then away. The redhead, in her hair towel and robe, went to sit at her vanity again, wincing at the remnants of black eye she hadn't fully Vanished in the shower.

Half an hour later, the little House Elf had cleaned efficiently, and Lily had put her face on for the day, covering the bruises that refused to be removed with either her self-made bruise salve or magic, and her puffy, cried out eyes, carefully doing her makeup to perfection, before going through the tedious process of curling her hair.

She was just finishing up when there was a knock at her door and then the portal opened, and her mother in law came sweeping in, wearing her best robes, looking pleased with herself. "Lily," she said, then frowned at the redhead. "Still not dressed? Whatever do you do all day when you obviously accomplish nothing?" she sighed, and rolled her blue eyes. Lily bit her tongue. "Well, that's lucky for me," she said airily. "I'm off to brunch with the Ladies' Society." Lily barely refrained from snorting, because the 'Ladies' Society' was a bunch of old pureblood bitches. "No matter, everyone knows my son married a career woman opposed to a proper family witch, after all. I'll simply tell them you were working," she went on. The redhead felt her irritation ramp up as her mother in law swept over to her closet and pulled out clothes for Lily to wear. "Anyway, I just came to tell you, dear," Cordelia Nott said with a wicked, deadly smile, "we'll be hosting a party to celebrate my darling son's new promotion. I'd say dinner for about a hundred, and I'm thinking next Friday. Do you think it unreasonable to invite the Minister of Magic?" Cordelia laughed, even as Lily paled, face registering nothing but shock. "We'll iron out the details when I get home. Ta ta!" The waifish, thin and dark haired witch that Lily wasn't sure if she loathed more or less than her husband who had the same, cold, cruel blue eyes that never exuded warmth paused before selecting a blouse and throwing it at Lily. "Your taste is atrocious, but this might work for your...body type. Enjoy work, then."

The redheaded witch, mouth parting in shock, even as her temper boiled over, watched her mother in law stride back out of her bedroom, trying not to feel hurt, even though she did, and trying not to shout after the old bitch to go fuck herself. Instead she bottled her emotions, and the urge to cry, and got dressed, pointedly not wearing the blouse her mother in law had picked but still pleased with her outfit of choice. But instead of taking the Floo to work, like she normally would for a few hours, which was the most she was allowed while still being able to maintain the washing and cooking and other chores her husband had ordered her to do, Lily Flooed to the one place she knew was reckless and stupid to visit, because if it appeared on their monthly bill for services, her husband would undoubtedly get angry.

But she didn't want to wait anymore. The honeymoon phase had lasted a week and then she'd gone back to being his boring old wife, the need for a baby aside, and Lily knew there was more than one night in the last month her husband had come home to her after sleeping with another witch. And then Thaddeus had let his temper get away with him just as easily as ever, and Lily had gone right back to being the outlet for her husband's raging temer and fluctuating moods. He'd gone, as he'd done many times over, from lover to abuser yet again, and Lily couldn't handle waiting until Sunday dinner to see a friendly face.

So she Flooed to Scorpius Malfoy's flat, knowing the blond pureblood would either still be sleeping, as it wasn't yet ten thirty, or just getting up. And when she stepped out of the fireplace, the redhead froze, arms lifted and palms out as Scorpius, wearing naught but a towel, slid into the room, wand pointed at her. "Bloody hell, Lily!" the blond snarled, and she let out a breath she hadn't recalled holding as he lowered his wand. "You scared the shite out of me!"

Lily cringed, but forced herself to stand straight and not flinch at his obvious anger at being surprised, probably right out of the shower. "Sorry," she said quietly. "But I…" She hated that tears began to well in her eyes, and clenched them shut, trying to hold her damnable emotions in check. "I needed to get away, from…from it all, and…" Lily brushed the tears that fell aside roughly. "I'm sorry, I can go if you're busy," she mumbled, feeling stupid, and made to turn, but then she felt Scorpius come forward and grasp her hand.

She blushed, because he smelled amazing, and he was emitting the kind of damp warmth only freshly showered bodies could, and she was unbearably aware of the fact he was naked under his towel. "No, don't go. Just… I just need a second, and I'll be good. You just kind of startled me is all." It went unspoken that never, ever in their recent acquaintanceship, had she sought him out to meet.

"Sorry," she mumbled again, cheeks burning. "Really, it's no problem. Actually I should be-"

"No, stay," Scorpius said instantly. "I'll be back in a minute," he vowed, and Lily glanced up at him and nodded, blushing darker as he squeezed her hand before releasing it and turned to go get dressed. The redhead tried to push through her embarrassment, and sat primly on the blond pureblood's squashy, comfortable loveseat that clashed terrifically with the sombre leather wingbacks either side of it in a conversational nook around the mantle. Hazel eyes darted around the room curiously, taking in the seemingly eclectic furniture and downright weird knick knacks, the Muggle telly and phone, and most of all, the number of framed photographs that littered the room. And Lily couldn't help but think it hadn't been what she'd imagined for him at all and yet, at the same time, it was outrageously fitting for the wizard she'd begun to reacquaint herself with of late.

XXX


	6. 5

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Five

"So what's up?" Scorpius asked coming back into the lounge a few minutes later, and Lily felt tense and nervous, her anxiety peaking out of nowhere. "I mean, you've never just shown up before," Scorpius said, seeming to see her sudden stiffness, and Lily told herself to breathe. "Did something…happen?"

Lily looked at her hands wringing themselves in her lap, and felt grateful that Scorpius chose to sit in one of the chairs, instead of beside her. "I…" Lily didn't know what to say, and gulped, trying to speak carefully. She didn't want to make her husband seem like a monster, even if she privately thought he was, because Lily knew she was far from perfect herself. But she looked up into Scorpius's honest, questioning grey eyes, stormy as ever and promising to hold her secrets and felt the carefully constructed guards around her heart, and her pain, slowly crumble. "We had a fight," she whispered at last. "It was bad. Not as bad as it has been...before," she said her speech coming in awkward spurts, as if her subconscious was fighting the urge to unload to him, "but bad enough. I… I'm supposed to be at work, but I couldn't bear the thought of just sitting in my office alone, because…"

Scorpius tried to hold in the urge to move closer, to comfort her, even as Lily's trembling, timid voice faded away into thought. He could see nothing but anguish and fear in her wide hazel eyes that stared through him, and fought the urge to clench his fists and teeth. Getting angry would only scare her, remind her of her husband, whose anger she seemed to fear above all else. But that thought alone made his temper blaze. She'd all but admitted to him, after he'd long suspected it, that Nott was abusive to her, and while Scorpius would love nothing more than to Crucio the bastard to within an inch of sanity for daring to strike his own wife, he'd refrained. Even when he'd seen the evidence of it on Lily, both mentally and physically.

The blond pureblood knew Lily was smart, and knew that she wouldn't stay in a relationship with a wizard who beat her, or worse, if she didn't still love some part of him, but it was infuriating for Scorpius to know the truth and be helpless to save her from it. She would resent him if he forced her, of that he was certain, and although it ate him up at times, he'd held her secret, unable to go against her when he pictured, yet again, in his mind, the image of her trying to hold herself together in her kitchen, begging him not to tell anyone. Even if he felt like a villain for it. Even when he knew his best mate would hate him for knowing and saying, or doing, nothing on his behalf. Scorpius waited for her to keep talking, trying to keep himself calm, because he would do anything for Lily. She'd become more than a friend, or a fancy, or even a puzzle he longed to solve. Somewhere in the last couple months, he'd fallen for her, and it was that alone that kept him seated, and breathing calmly, and waiting impatiently for her to finish her thought.

"When I got married," Lily said, looking at her hands, a sad expression turning her mouth down, "I wanted to have a baby right away," she said, and Scorpius tensed. "Thaddeus didn't, because we still had loads of time, and he wanted to get his career sorted first." The blond forced his face to remain neutral, even as he wanted to scowl. "Anyway, it turned out to be a good thing I guess, but now…" She shook her head. "Well, you probably saw, but he's been named the latest member of the Daily Prophet's Editorial staff, for the weekend edition, and that, basically, means he'll always have that position at the Prophet." Scorpius nodded because it was rare for anyone to make the prolific and difficult ascent to Editor at the widely read paper, and no one ever left or was fired from such a spot. "And now," Lily continued, hands clasped together with white knuckle force, "Thaddeus has decided it's a good time for children."

Scorpius's rage bled all the colour from his vision for a moment, leaving him seeing nothing but his own white hot temper, but then he blinked and drew an unsteady breath. "And you're no longer so keen on that idea?" he guessed, face stony, praying to Merlin and Circe that Lily wasn't about to tell him her husband had forced himself on her.

"Not at all," she admitted, her breath whooshing out, and he watched her unclasp her hands, bringing a shaking one to her mouth. "I've made sure it won't happen, for now," she admitted in a whisper. "But I don't know how much longer I can just keep preventing it."

Scorpius watched her hazel eyes narrow, as if wondering how far her husband _would_ go, to give her the children she no longer wanted, and Scorpius knew his own brain was skipping ahead to all those possibilities and more. He knew it was possible, with Potions, to ensure a woman would get pregnant through increased fertility. He also knew there were Potions, old ones that had been used back in the height of arranged pureblood marriages, that increased a woman's desire for her husband. And Scorpius had no doubt Thaddeus Nott, as pureblooded as Scorpius himself, would know about them as well. And while they weren't illegal to brew, the use of them against unsuspecting and unaware witches was illegal. The blond wizard knew that if her husband really wanted to sire a child with Lily, there would be little room for her to prevent it, even if the bastard watched her every second of every day to ensure she didn't use a Contraceptive or Abortion Charm on herself.

"Does he know you don't want to have kids?" Scorpius asked slowly.

Lily looked up at him, mouth parted and eyes wide with shock, then, to his own shock, threw back her head and laughed. It was a short, abrupt spurt of it, and while it was the obnoxious guffaw he definitely recalled from when he'd known her as Lily Potter, when she met his gaze again, smirking, it was without humour. "No," she said at last, smirk fading. "I may not be the brightest witch of my age, but I'm not stupid enough to tell Thad I don't want something he's got his ambitions set on." Scorpius scowled, and Lily flinched a little, then added, her posture and tone laced with defensiveness, "And don't you frown at me like that. This isn't even any of your business, and I should just go," she said, the last word catching the tiniest bit on a sob, but when Lily stood up, Scorpius followed suit and stepped closer, pulling her into his arms, aching to hold her, and comfort her, hating that she flinched away from him instinctively. And then he felt her small arms circle his middle and she relaxed against him, body going limp.

"You are the brightest witch of your age," he said firmly, and could almost hear Lily rolling her eyes. "And you're right, it's not my business, but I care, and if I can help you, at all, Lily, I will." He bit back the urge to tack on the three words that formed in his mind. She didn't need or want, he was sure, his declarations of love for her, and they'd never be reciprocated, so he bit his tongue.

The redhead sighed softly. "I just needed to… To tell someone, I guess," she mumbled into his chest. "It's lonely there." The admission was spoken barely above a whisper, and Scorpius felt it, more than heard it, when she muttered those three little words. And his heart actually ached at her admission.

"You can come whenever you like," he said instantly, wanting to do or say the right thing to ease her pain, the loneliness she felt.

Lily sighed again. "I can't," she said, and instantly pulled away. Scorpius felt his facade crack a little at that, the feeling of being bereft without her. "I want to," she said, and he looked into her solemn hazel eyes. "But I just… I can't. If he ever found out…" She shook her head as a darkness swept over her, eyes lowering, then forced a smile. Scorpius reached for her hand, wanting to hold some part of her, to imbibe her with his strength, wanting desperately to see her like he'd remembered, not acting out her impression of herself. The redhead's eyes were guarded when she looked at him again. "I can't risk it."

"Then leave him," Scorpius said, knowing it was foolish the moment the words crossed his lips. But it was said out of jealousy, and anger, because his loathing for Thaddeus Nott, the bastard, was like a living, breathing entity inside him. His absolute hatred for the wizard who'd dared put a hand on Lily, let alone broken her down into this sad, almost pitiable creature, roared and clawed at his insides, and he fought to control it. Lily froze, then glared at him, and he braced for the words he saw in her angry, blazing expression.

"For what?" Lily snapped, and Scorpius took a step back, seeing that he'd obviously, after her emotional turmoil in telling him that her husband expected her to bear his child, whether she liked it or not, pushed her way past too far. "So I can spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder? Or so I can never work, and have no means to support myself, because he'll fucking find me if I try? What the bleeding fuck am I going to leave my husband for, after almost five bloody years, when there's nothing better for me away from him, Scorpius?" she shouted, and in the ringing silence, her chest heaving, he looked positively contrite. And Lily wanted to scream, and lash out at him, because it wasn't fucking _fair_ damn it!

"You'd have your family," Scorpius finally said, and Lily snorted. She'd lost her family the moment she'd changed her name to Lily Nott, and even if she tried vainly to pretend she was part of that unit, she couldn't help but feel she didn't quite fit. "They love you, y'know," Scorpius said with surety, and Lily rolled her eyes, even as her anger slowly ebbed. "Especially Al." Lily didn't want to hear it. "When you showed up at dinner late, last weekend," Scorpius continued, even as she tried to block out his voice, "he noticed you seemed off." Lily closed her eyes and barely resisted the urge to cover her ears. "Asked me if I thought you were acting weird since, apparently, I'm the new expert on you."

The redhead didn't want to hear anymore. She could picture Al's face if she ever told him the truth of why she'd been late, and why she'd been acting abnormal. Lily had tried to be calm, but after her husband's bad mood, compounded by too many drinks that day, and unleashed upon her in the form of him almost choking her to the point of suffocation before he'd finished with her, she was a wreck. But she'd tried to soldier through Sunday dinner, if only to see her parents, and hug her mother's warm, cinnamon scented form, and actually eat a full meal. "And?" she finally asked, hating that she was praying he hadn't told her brother anything suspicious or truthful.

"I told him what I've said since that night back in January before I transferred to the Lestrange vault here in London, to purge the batty old pureblood enchantments. You're different than before you were married, but your weirdness didn't seem out of the ordinary of that." Lily frowned, because that wasn't what she'd been hoping to hear, although it wasn't awful.

"It doesn't matter," Lily said, and turned away, back to the Floo. "I should go to work," she said, and forced her shoulders not to slump and her step not to falter, even as she fought the urge to turn and fling herself at the tall, handsome blond. He was just so damn _strong_, and patient, and solid, and utterly, completely trustworthy. And her weak, craven side wanted to curl into his chest while he held her safely and let him keep her safe.

But the redhead couldn't do that. It would be wrong. Sure, her husband had broken their marriage vows, more than once, but she couldn't. She'd taken vows and _meant_ them. Meant them still. She would honor her husband, and Lily doubted it would be honorable to leave him, file for divorce, ruin his shining star and create a scandal in his pureblood social circles, and lean on another man in the process. So she didn't look back, or say anything more, and Flooed out of Scorpius's flat, feeling unburdened, but still no more comforted. That had been left behind with Scorpius's sad grey gaze.

The blond pureblood watched Lily leave, heart sinking to his toes, and after she'd Flooed off to work, he sat down abruptly on the sofa. A puff of her smell assaulted his nose and he winced, feeling the faint vacated warmth from where she'd been sitting before he'd opened his mouth and proceeded to attempt choking himself on his foot. Godric, he'd been such a fool! One hand pushed through his hair and he got up, pacing his flat restlessly.

Lily had been looking for comfort, not demands. She'd needed a friend and he'd whined like a jealous admirer. _Sweet fucking Circe, you have to set it right_. Scorpius nodded, grabbed his robes, and went to find Lily at the Ministry of Magic, not giving a damn if her bastard husband found out, because he wouldn't, _couldn't_, let the passionate redhead he knew still resided within her, corralled by fear and violence, simply die.

Twenty minutes later he gulped and knocked on her office door. "Come in," Lily said from within, and Scorpius gulped, glancing around, then reached for the doorknob. What had seemed like such a great idea now seemed silly, and poorly thought out, and _dear sweet Merlin and his favourite teapot, what the hell was he doing_!? But he went into Lily's office, trying to keep his expression neutral, and she looked up from her desk, the picture of approachable. "Scorpius!" she said, eyes widening in alarm. "What are you doing here?" she hissed, standing up from her chair.

"I need to talk to you," he said earnestly. "Look, I'm an idiot, and I'm sorry. But I don't want you to be mad at me. I just…" He faltered and looked away. "I didn't mean to tell you how to live your life," he said. "But I want you to know you _do_ have options," he said, and glanced up at her again. She was frowning. "And for whatever it might be worth, even if it's nothing, I…" He gulped and said roughly, "I just want you to be okay."

"I'm fine," Lily said softly, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

Scorpius nodded and made to turn away, conceding defeat, but then turned back when he put his hand back on the doorknob.

"Not all the time," he said softly. She glared at him, and Scorpius added, even softer, "No one is, Lily. And someday you won't be able to keep fooling everyone by saying you are."

She didn't reply, and Scorpius opened the door, almost walking right into a young woman, who looked to be about sixteen or seventeen, with dark hair and vibrantly amber eyes. "Whoa," the girl said, eyes widening as she looked up at him, then her gaze darted to Lily. "Uh, I'm not interrupting anything am I?" she asked slowly.

"No," Lily said firmly, and Scorpius, glancing at her, saw the dismissal in her hazel eyes. He forced a smile. "Please, come in, Heather."

Scorpius opened the door wider so the shocked looking girl could come in, and left without another word, closing Lily's office door behind himself, and the redheaded witch tried to keep her expression bland.

"Whoa, is that your husband, Mrs. Nott?" Heather asked, looking at the door as if she'd just seen a celebrity. Lily pursed her lips.

"No," Lily said firmly. Heather looked at her, tilting her head a little.

"Too bad," the teen, who was almost an adult in the eyes of the wizarding world, said, smirking at her counsellor turned friend. "He's bloody _hot_."

Lily's mouth quirked up, because Heather wasn't wrong. "Have a seat, Heather," she said, indicating the chair across from her desk. The young werewolf sat.

"Is he single?" she pushed, looking back at the door as if Scorpius might come back in at any moment.

"Heather," the redhead said, and gave her a stern expression. The girl shrugged, smirking.

"Just asking, no need to get defensive, Mrs. N." Her amber eyes rolled. "Besides, any bloke that good looking is probably already taken, right?" Lily tried not to think about it, or the hot flash of incoherent jealousy that flared in her belly when she did. Picturing Scorpius with some faceless witch, snogging her, touching her, and doting lovingly upon her… _No_! She was married, for Merlin's sake! It shouldn't matter if Scorpius had a dozen girlfriends on the go, at least not to her. Heather looked at her as if sensing the traitorous turn of Lily's thoughts, and the older witch tried to compose herself. This session wasn't about her, or Scorpius. She had to focus.

"I'd like to talk to you about-"

"Who is that guy, anyway?" Heather interrupted. Lily frowned at her not-quite friend and more-than case. The young witch, who Lily had been working with her entire career in the Department for the Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures, and who was one of the first cases Lily had been assigned, arched a brow at her. She'd known Heather since the younger witch was just ten, and, being a full-fledged werewolf, Heather was unusually talented at reading the redhead, and her most private thoughts.

"He's my brother's friend," Lily said dismissively, hoping the young werewolf would drop it. She had limited time to discuss the girl's future with her, until their next session a week from then, and wanted to get her points across.

Heather lifted dark brows. "Huh. So he's not-?"

Lily interrupted the question before it could be asked. "We're not here to talk about me, Heather, or whoever might drop by to visit me. I want to talk to you about your future. After Hogwarts." Amber eyes, a product of the younger woman's affliction, rolled. "You'll be sitting your NEWTs in June, and I know you're looking into a career with this Department."

Heather sighed, glanced one last time at the door, and said, looking hesitant, "D'you think they'll really pass that Werewolf Reform Act, Mrs. N?" Lily forced a smile, shoving Scorpius and her personal dramas aside as she felt a surge of pity and love for the young woman who sat across from her. Heather was scared that if the Act was repealed, she'd be lucky to get a job scrubbing floors in a Muggle diner, Lily knew. Her heart ached for the young witch, whose future lay in the hands of politicians who'd never know just how brilliant and intuitive and utterly charming the girl was, because they'd never see past her condition.

Lily forced a smile that didn't quite reach her hazel eyes, smiling sadly. "I hope not," she said earnestly, because the redhead knew those in power feared that which they didn't know, and loathed that which they didn't understand, and she had a feeling it would be repealed, despite the efforts of the formidable Hermione Granger-Weasley. "But we need to talk about your options right _now_, as the laws stand," Lily said, hoping Heather would remain positive. Heather sighed, but looked hopeful, and Lily forced herself to keep smiling encouragingly. "Are you still thinking of a career in the DCRMC?" she prompted, and Heather smirked, perking up a little.

They discussed Heather's career options for the next half hour and Lily managed to put her own personal dilemmas to the back of her mind as they chatted. But the second she was alone again, and left to her own devices, Lily felt her thoughts straying, once again, to Scorpius Malfoy and the conversation she'd had with him before her meeting with Heather. He just wanted her to be okay. And that notion made her eyes well with tears, because she wasn't sure anyone else on the planet wanted such a little thing from her, and she couldn't help but want to actually be okay, if only so the blond pureblood wouldn't worry about her wellbeing.

XXX


	7. 6 - April

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Six - April

Sunday evening came after a long, trying week. Lily had done her utmost to maintain the facade she was trying anything and everything to get pregnant with her husband's child. She even went so far as to book an appointment with her mother in law's personal Healer at St. Mungo's to get a check up and make sure there wasn't anything physically impeding her ability to get pregnant, inviting Cordelia along for 'support'. Lily had grit her teeth as the older witch had sighed and rolled her eyes, but acquiesced. The redhead wanted a witness to a Healer telling her she was healthy and able to get pregnant, and knew Thaddeus wouldn't believe anyone but his own mother to confirm whatever Lily might claim the Healer said.

She'd then, after that uncomfortable dinner the night before, been subjected to a night of her husband's increased determination to knock her up yet again. He'd taken her very rough, and left fingerprint bruises on her hips and teeth marks on her breasts after the second round, and Lily had faked her own completion as she fought the urge to push him away It was one thing to submit to his sexual whims, but quite another to pretend she enjoyed it as much as he had. She'd snuck out of bed after Thaddeus had fallen asleep and retched silently after performing a round of vigorous Cleansing Charms on her person and taken a dose of potion Scorpius had owled to her that assured she wouldn't get pregnant, no matter what, and wouldn't show up on any tests.

The redhead set her shoulders as she headed up the walk to her parents' place, pasting a cheery smile on her face that didn't quite reach her eyes, and rehearsing what she'd talk about that was new in her week. Which, if she was honest, was very little. She had no desire to share her appointment with Cordelia's personal Healer she'd attended that morning, concerning her general health and aptitude for childbearing. And even if she did, if she weren't lying to anyone who might betray her facade about even wanting to be pregnant by her husband, that would be more awkward than she'd care to share with her family.

She settled instead on telling her mother about the accomplishment she'd made in, at last, making pastry that seemed 'almost as if it were properly done by a House Elf'. Although undoubtedly in far less unflattering words. Settling her shoulders at a relaxed, confident angle she'd perfected long ago, Lily breezed into her parents' home.

She could hear that everyone was in the kitchen, and Lily didn't hesitate to join them all, wondering what was for dinner. The redheaded witch usually ate two helpings of everything at Sunday dinner normally, but now that she was to 'bring herself to the peak of health' to be able to bear a child to term for her husband, as her dreadful mother in law had put it, she was doubly looking forward to the food. It would be the first time in what felt like ages she wouldn't have to worry about anyone ever finding out she'd gorged herself on her mother's excellent cooking, and she couldn't help but feel grateful the Healer had told her she was actually underweight, and that she should make sure she was eating plenty, and exercising, to stay in the best shape.

Lily's smile melted into a genuine grin when she reached the kitchen to find her mother, wooden spoon in hand, berating her eldest for sampling the food before it had been set upon the table. "Hi Mum, hi Dad," she said, and Harry grinned at his daughter, setting the Daily Prophet aside. Ginny swatted James's hand with her wooden spoon again, and her eldest brother ruffled her hair affectionately as she approached the pair at the stove.

"Just making sure it's up to your normal, excellent standards, Mum," James said in a placating tone, and kissed Lily's cheek in greeting. "Hey, Lils."

"How are you, honey?" her mother said, pulling her into a hug and Lily sighed, breathing deep the smell of her mother, basking in the maternal warmth the other redheaded witch exuded.

"I'm fine, Mum," she said, mussing her brother's hair in return once she'd been released. "So what's the verdict, Jamie? Has Mum lost her touch in the kitchen yet?"

Ginny pursed her lips at the insinuation, but James chuckled. "Top notch as always," he declared. Lily followed him to sit at the table, hugging her father around the shoulders.

"Anything interesting in the paper?" Lily asked her father, sitting down beside him, sliding out the portion of paper he'd already finished reading.

"Never anything worth mention," Harry Potter replied, and smiled at Lily. "And we both know, the things they _do _write about aren't always necessarily the truth."

The redhead kept her smile in place even though she was hurt by the reminder, yet again, that she had somehow married the enemy. Not just because her husband's grandfather had, technically, been a Death Eater in the Second Wizarding War, but because her husband himself was a writer for the Daily Prophet who, she could admit, at times toed the line of being rude, even to his father in law, in print. "It depends on your version of the truth," Lily said, like she always did, even when Thaddeus used to accompany her to Sunday dinners and her father had made snide remarks about the paper her husband had dedicated his career to. The routine was an old, almost traditional one. Her father read the paper, complained about it, and Lily vaguely stuck up for her husband, or at least tried to deflect the issue.

Harry merely shook his head, but kissed Lily on the cheek. "You look tired," her father said, looking at her properly as he pulled back from the hug. The redheaded witch looked away.

"It's been a long week," she said simply. Even if she wasn't working full time, she still had the full time job of making sure she never, _ever_, got pregnant with her husband's child, not to mention the natural stress that came from the days she _did _go into work. "You look tired too, Dad," she joked, indicating the frown lines around his mouth and the wrinkles that deepened when he laughed around his eyes.

Harry rolled his still vibrant green eyes, but smiled. "You know me, trying to stay out of your mother's way," he replied, then glanced at where James was being berated by his wife after he'd just, foolishly, suggested she should take lessons from his mother. "And," he added, smiling conspiratorially with Lily, who leaned closer, feeling a rush of excitement like she hadn't felt since she was little, when her father had told her some adult secret she mostly never understood, "there's something else."

"What?" the redhead breathed, even as Ginny broke into James and Cleo's personal fight, instantly jumping to her daughter in law's defence and making her son roll his eyes.

Harry leaned closer, one eye on his wife, and murmured to Lily, lips barely moving, "I've taken a new active position within the Auror force." Lily's mouth dropped open of its own accord, and she almost choked on her own tongue at the force of her gasp. Her father had been behind a desk since she could properly recall, once he'd become Head Auror, and both Lily and Harry Potter knew it was Ginny's desire for her husband to remain out of harm's way, considering he _did_ happen to have a slight hero complex that, at times, made him act recklessly. But Lily couldn't fathom how her father had ever found a way to wriggle back into active duty, knowing his wife of so many years would be furious.

"Dad, d'you really think you should-?" Lily began softly, not wanting to point out that her father hadn't been an active Auror in a number of years, but remind him he wasn't ready for action either, but she was cut off when Albus stormed into the kitchen.

"This had better be a fucking joke, Dad!" he declared, slapping a lavender coloured Ministry note onto the table. Lily glanced at it briefly, ascertaining it contained the same news her father had just shared with her, then glanced up at the scowling face of Harry Potter.

"Albus, language," Ginny scolded, even as she snatched the message up before James had finished reading it, Cleo doing so over his shoulder as well. "And what on earth could have you so upset as to come barreling in, swearing, and…" She trailed off as her mouth opened and Lily braced herself for the worst, sending her father a last glance of pity. "Harry James Potter, _why does this say you're going to be on active Auror duty next month_!?"

"Gin, relax," Harry said, perhaps foolishly, as Ginny slammed the lavender coloured parchment back onto the table, looking furious, wand clutched tightly. "It's not what everyone's thinking. Calm down." He sent his second son a glare. "Albus, sit," he said, even as the younger version of him stood there, all but vibrating with rage.

"Dad, you know you're way too old to be out in the thick of things," James said candidly, and Lily bit her lip to keep from grinning, even as the tension in the room put her instantly on edge.

"Yes, thank you, James. I am aware," Harry replied dryly. "Look, everyone sit, we'll eat, and I'll tell you all about this great idea Kingsley and I came up with."

So everyone sat while a silently fuming Ginny served dinner and over the next hour, Harry explained in great detail just what his new active role would entail. And by the time pudding was served, and the tension had bled out of the room, Lily was certain she was going to be sick. Because Harry Potter, being the hero-complex having person he was, had found someone else to save, or hopefully more than one someone if the statistics he'd dug up were anything to go by. Her father had gone, to her horror and with the Minister for Magic's approval no less, and created the Domestic Affairs branch of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

It was to be a team of regular law enforcement witches and wizards who'd trained enough to be almost-Aurors whom Harry would personally train even more for the next year in close quarters combat and mild hostage situations. And they, Harry included for the first six months at least, would go out on calls, usually anonymous tips that were left by concerned family members, in cases where domestic abuse or violence was happening, including cases of neglect against children or the elderly.

Lil knew that last bit was obviously her father's idea. She'd heard all about his difficult years, growing up around his Muggle relatives, but the fear that choked Lily made it impossible for the redheaded witch to realize the difference the DA would make for the good of wizarding kind. All Lily could think, even as she listened through the buzzing in her ears to her family all discussing Harry's latest attempt to ditch his desk for good, was how awful it would be if she ever had some damn Magical Law Enforcement Officer show up at _her_ home. And how, if that ever did come to pass, how much worse things would get should Thad ever be accused by some Ministry approved Law Enforcement Officer of striking her. Her husband would, certainly and without a doubt, think she'd reported him herself. The redhead cringed internally, because that could only bring about one thing; retribution.

And then one thing occurred to her, something Thaddeus had growled with cold, cruel pleasure against her ear when she sobbed and shivered under his merciless fists and cutting words. According to her very pureblood husband, in a marriage such as theirs, where they weren't simply bound together like most witches and wizards, but literally bound to one another through very traditional Old Magic as was pureblood custom, no third party could interfere in their marriage. If neither of them ever said a word, and nothing that might raise suspicion occurred outside their home, Thad vowed that even under Veritaserum, _nothing_ he did to his wife while inside their ancestral home could be proven, documented, or even attested to by a third party outsider. Only those bearing the name of Nott could speak on what went on behind the closed doors of Nott Hall, and Lily had learned quickly to keep her mouth shut. Not to mention the same and disgust and self pity she felt were far too heavy and dark to burden anyone else with kept the truth sealed under her tongue and behind her plump lips.

Surely, if what Thad had told her was true, and what she knew herself to be true, having witnessed the utter ignorance of others within their home, in the early years when they still entertained and would be stumbled upon arguing by guests. Even in those instances, Lily had found it odd no one had ever overheard her being shouted at by her husband behind an unwarded, un-Silenced door before it was opened. But, Lily knew, if those kind of pureblood enchantments held, that would make it that much harder for her father to help people too afraid or too downtrodden to seek out help on their own. She was intimately familiar with just how charming and funny and what an absolute _delight_ an abuser could be, especially when play-acting for the public. But knowing those same enchantments would save her a headache and embarrassment and pain, no doubt, kept her holding her tongue.

Instead, Lily listened as she pushed the food around her plate, barely taking any of it in, until she felt a warm hand on her shoulder and looked up, startled, as her mother made to clear her plate. "Is everything all right, honey?" he mother asked, brow furrowing for a beat, even as her brothers made bets on how long it would take Harry to get hexed in the face while Harry scoffed at his sons' lack of faith in his ability. "You seem troubled, Lily," her mother said softly. The redhead sighed silently, shoulders sagging the tiniest bit when her mother brushed a delicately soothing hand over Lily's crimson tresses. But instead of faltering, the redhead locked her emotions up tight like a proper pureblood princess and pasted on her rueful smile.

"I'm fine, Mum. What about you?" she prompted, getting up and helping her mother clear the table."I know you're worried about Dad," she pushed, smiling wider, even as her cheeks ached. Ginny rolled brown eyes and sighed dramatically.

"Sometimes I wonder if he's even really worth the trouble," her mother teased fondly as they set the dishes to being washed in the sink. "I swear that man is going to be the death of me." She flicked her wand at the roasting pan. "Now, since we haven't gotten a chance to catch up, honey, tell me about your week," Ginny said brightly. "How did your pastries turn out?"

XXX


	8. 7 - May

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Seven - May

"Get dressed," Thaddeus growled, throwing a large, flat box on the bed. Lily looked up from her book, brow furrowing. She'd been in bed for almost an hour, looking forward to an early night, and she was already clad in her pyjamas, face free of makeup.

"What?" she asked, confused. Her husband curled his lip, and Lily immediately put her book aside, sliding dutifully out of bed, beginning to unbutton her pink and white plaid pyjama top. "Why am I getting dressed?" she asked, looking at the floor and missing the way her husband's eyes travelled over her larger than normal breasts as they were slowly revealed. Her pyjama top fluttered to the floor after she shrugged out of it, reaching for the box.

"Because I told you to," Thaddeus said, tone imperious. He smirked darkly as she slid her pants off after undoing the little tie at her waist, then sneered at her full coverage, cotton bikini briefs.

"What's the occasion?" Lily pushed, eyeing the very nice, and decidedly stylish set of black dress robes that she spied inside the box after lifting the lid.

"The Annual Children's Ward Charity Gala for St. Mungo's," her husband said, turning away from her to regard his reflection in the full length mirror as she lifted the decadent robes from their tissue paper wrapping within the box, moving to her dresser. Lily's brows lifted. It had been, so far as she could recall, at least six months since her husband had taken her as his escort to any sort of function, let alone a grand one that any and every respectable member of society would be attending.

Lily fought the urge to cringe as Thaddeus watched through the mirror as she pushed her panties off her hips, stepping out of them and flicking her wand at them to send them and the rest of her clothes to the hamper to be laundered. The redheaded witch opened her lingerie drawer and thought about what would look best beneath robes she was sure would be too tight, and scandalously cut. Thad had always liked showing her off, and once upon a time, Lily hadn't minded being his trophy wife. Now she wanted to curse herself if it would excuse her presence. Her parents would be there, and probably her brothers too, as they were people of status and wealth, and donated to the St. Mungo's Children's Ward every year. And the thought of seeing her family without the protective, insulating comfort of her childhood home, she was terrified she'd mess up and make her husband upset.

She barely refrained from shuddering when a pair of warm hands slid up her bare arms. "This is the part where you say thank you," her husband rumbled, and Lily looked at the floor even as his very warm palms slid over her shoulders.

"Thank you," she whispered, heart pounding in mingled fear, and dread, and the tiniest splash of arousal that confused her and made her feel ashamed. What sort of woman could possibly be at all attracted to a man like her husband? A wizard who'd hurt her, and cut her down with both hands and words, and told her to be grateful he'd ever married her to begin with, and a man who made her hate herself and her very existence. What was _wrong_ with her?

Lily closed her eyes as his hands dragged down her back and around her waist, gripping her lightly in a mockery of the way he'd once worshipped her body. "You're welcome," Thaddeus said, and she felt him smiling against the nape of her neck when his lips brushed her soft, vanilla and honeysuckle scented flesh. Her skin erupted in goosebumps and the redhead tried to tell herself she hated him. But if Thaddeus was anything, it was clever, and utterly manipulative, and she knew he could easily turn on the charm whenever he wanted her compliance. "Mmm, I don't think you're going to need these tonight," Thaddeus said, and slowly and gently closed the top drawer on her dresser as she stood before it.

Her breathing hitched when his hands, which had been stroking her waist tenderly, moved up her ribcage to caress the sensitive skin under her breasts. "Thad," she said, trying to keep her resolve to loathe him, and the way he could so easily take advantage of her, and fighting the urge to remember the wizard he'd been, the man she _knew_ still resided within him and still loved. Lily was certain it would only lead to disappointment and more heartbreak, but she couldn't stop herself from arching ever so slightly into his touch needily.

"Lily," he murmured, and she groaned as his palms gently, lovingly, cupped her naked breasts. "Bloody hell, honey, I almost forgot how amazing you look with those extra pounds." Lily wanted to cry and moan with delight at the same time. "You look even better now than when we first met," he continued, thumbs gently teasing her nipples into hard, excited peaks. "Mmm, all soft woman, these delicious tits just begging for my hands," he groaned, and Lily hated that her arousal sharpened to pleasure when she felt the bulge of his erection against the cleft of her arse.

"Thaddeus," she breathed, and her hands smoothed over his wrists. He groaned again, right behind her ear, and Lily had to bite her lip on a moan as he tugged just enough on her nipples to make her squirm. "I have to get dressed," she said breathily, trying to fight the lure of his adoration, telling herself it could never last. It never had before, anyway.

Her husband grunted, giving her nipples another, slightly harder, tug, and making her pussy quiver with delight, her body betraying her as it realized pleasure could very well be on the menu. Her head rebelled, leaving her heart torn and unsure. "If you insist," he said, and she sighed in mingled relief and disappointment as he pulled his hands away, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. "But when we get home, Mrs. Nott, I intend to finish what I've started," he promised in a husky whisper against her ear, and Lily felt her body tensing in excited anticipation, even as her heart fluttered with traitorous hope and her brain had to clench her jaw to keep from screaming aloud.

But Lily knew better than to say anything, and merely turned in her husband's embrace and kissed his cheek demurely. "Anything you want, husband," she murmured. Thaddeus smirked at her submissive words, and brushed a thumb over her lower lip.

"Put your hair up," he added, moving toward the bathroom. "And wear the diamonds."

Lily fought the urge to cringe as her husband strode to the bathroom and she heard the shower flicking on. She didn't mind wearing her hair up, even if she knew it meant Thaddeus would be putting his mouth all over her exposed neck for the duration of the evening. But she positively _loathed_ wearing the heavy, gaudy diamond necklace and matching earrings that were an heirloom of the Nott family, and her mother in law had very grudgingly gifted her on their five year anniversary. The redheaded witch detested the way the heavy earrings tugged painfully on her earlobes, and felt like she could hardly catch her breath with the weight of the diamonds that would drip from her throat.

But by the time Thaddeus emerged from the bathroom, she'd donned the requested jewelry, done her hair, and was just spritzing on some perfume. "You look great," her husband grunted as she regarded herself, in the new dress and heavy jewels in the full length mirror as he pulled his own set of dress robes from their wardrobe.

"You don't think the diamonds are a bit much?" Lily asked, turning sideways and gulping as she sucked in a deep breath and the tight-fitting robes squeezed her tighter.

Thaddeus snorted. "They're befitting a witch I've chosen to call my wife," he said. "And they make you look rich and sophisticated enough to accompany me tonight." He sent her a dark look. "You're wearing them. Now smile."

Lily instantly pasted her patented, dazzling smile on, and turned fully away from her reflection, and the sadness she could see in her own eyes. "You look so handsome," she said quite truthfully, as her husband buttoned up his crisp white shirt and swung his well tailored, decadently fashionable, and disgustingly expensive robes, onto his shoulders.

"I should hope so. It wouldn't do to have my own wife outshine me tonight," Thad said dismissively, and Lily's smile wobbled. "Are you ready?"

The redheaded nodded, picking up the little beaded clutch that contained her wand, a few Galleons to fetch drinks should her husband want them, which she knew he would, and her lipstick to touch up if need be. Thaddeus held out his arm and Lily moved swiftly to his side, taking it, and they headed downstairs to the entrance hall to Apparate out. "Are you going to report, or…?" Lily murmured as he lead them down the stairs.

"Of course not. Editors don't report on social events, Lily," Thaddeus said, rolling his eyes at her, but smirking a tiny bit. "We're going to be _seen_, honey." Lily wondered if that meant he hadn't donated to the Charity hosting the gala, but refrained from asking, knowing how her husband disliked her 'meddling' in their financial affairs. "Do you remember the rules?" Thaddeus asked in a low, warning tone as they at last made the entrance hall, and Lily sucked in a silent gasp. It had, admittedly, been an awfully long time since she'd gone out anywhere with her husband, especially to such a grand, social event, but Lily knew his expectations of her, or 'the rules' as Thad had always said.

"Yes," she said, looking down.

"Very well. I expect you to be on your best behaviour, Lily," Thaddeus growled, grasping her chin roughly and tilting her head back to meet her gaze, his face hard and serious, blue eyes frosty. "I won't have a silly witch embarrassing me in my first societal debut as Weekend Editor." She nodded quickly, hearing the underlying threat that should her husband perceive that she _had_ done something to embarrass him, she'd pay for it later.

"I understand," she whispered. Thaddeus smiled then kissed her roughly.

"Very well. Off we go, then."

An hour later, Lily's face was cramping from holding her brilliant smile in place, and although she'd imbibed two glasses of champagne, her body was still rigid with tension as her husband talked, laughed, and drank with everyone around them. She was debating whether she could sneak away for a few minutes of respite under the pretense of finding the ladies' room when she felt someone walk up close behind her.

Alarm bells went off in her head as a warm hand slid under the elbow not looped around her husband's arm, and she froze, caught between terror and elation as she caught a familiar whiff of cologne and an even more familiar voice said, "Lily?"

She forced her smile to remain as sparkling and delighted as ever, even as her husband turned, pulling her closer, and looked at the wizard who'd dared speak to her with such familiarity. The redhead shot Scorpius a brief, warning look with pleading hazel eyes as Thaddeus drawled, sounding distinctly condescending, "Malfoy. I'd forgotten you were back in the country. Then again, I also didn't think you'd prefer giving away gold to playing with it with your Goblins."

Lily's smile flickered, and Scorpius glanced at her. "Nott," the blond said, and Lily felt her anxiety ratchet up as he forced a brittle little smile that didn't even remotely reach the cold, grey gaze that bored into Thaddeus. "I didn't think you had any gold of your own to donate."

The redheaded witch gasped, but Thaddeus merely chuckled, his smile going smug as Scorpius glanced at Lily again, and the redhead felt her husband release her arm to slide the appendage around her waist, drawing her impossibly closer. "Maybe not as much as a Malfoy, but I'm certain I've got _plenty_."

The blond's eyes darted to where his hand smoothed around her hip possessively, and Lily stiffened as Thaddeus's mouth brushed the exposed line of her neck. "Would you like to dance, Lily?" Scorpius asked, extending his hand like a lifeline, and Lily bit her lower lip.

"I'd love to," she admitted, smiling a tiny bit, but she doubted Thaddeus would let her. That was firmly in the realm of 'against the rules'. "But I'm sure your feet would suffer for the attempt. I'm not a very good dancer," she finished, the perfect response to please everyone, delivered flawlessly.

Scorpius lifted a brow as Thaddeus smirked. "Really? As I recall, when our mothers forced us to attend ballroom lessons when we were kids, you were far more graceful than myself or Albus." She looked up into Scorpius's searching grey gaze, then looked away swiftly again, unable to maintain eye contact with the sincere light of concern she could read in that intense, roiling grey gaze.

Lily blushed, recalling those times, because she'd been, as a twelve year old girl, delighted to get to dance with Scorpius, who was far better at ballroom than her stupid brother had ever been. Thaddeus stopped smiling.

"That was some years ago," Lily said demurely, still not looking him in the eye, and Scorpius had to clench his jaw as she looked beseechingly up at her husband. The blond pureblood had been watching them since they'd arrived, and had noticed that while Nott was making good on the open bar, and the opportunity to socialize with wizarding Britain's highest and mightiest, and most powerful and influential, he hadn't once asked his wife to dance. He was willing to wager a large sum of Galleons that Lily wanted nothing more than a few turns around the dance floor, and disliked that her stuck up husband couldn't see she was uncomfortable at his side, socializing, and would relish the break a dance would give her from keeping up her doting wife charade. And although it was foolish, certainly, Scorpius wanted to give that to Lily, even if he reckoned Nott would be livid about it.

"Come on, Lily," he cajoled. "I'm here all on my lonesome, and Albus hasn't shown up yet, and this socializing thing is getting to be quite tedious. Dance with me," he said decisively, and reached for her free hand. He smiled charmingly at Nott. "You don't mind if I borrow your lovely wife, do you, Nott?"

Lily stopped breathing, and although she tried to covertly release his hand, Scorpius didn't let her go. "Of course not," Thaddeus said, and tilted Lily's chin up to kiss her, giving her a significant look. "It's your feet, Malfoy."

"I-" Lily said, but then Thaddeus had released her and Scorpius was tugging at her hand. She looked imploringly at her husband, who almost glared back.

"Enjoy your dance, honey." The redhead felt like she'd been slapped when Thaddeus turned back to his conversation with two elderly gentlemen, and knew she'd pay for Scorpius's interference when they got home.

XXX


	9. 8

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**: _**TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER: **SCENES OF DUBIOUS/NON-CONSENT INVOLVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE. _Please read with discretion if that sort of thing squicks you, although I will promise it's not overly graphic. Also, NSFW. (Trust me on that one, y'all.)

XXX

Chapter Eight

Lily sucked in a breath and narrowed her eyes at Scorpius as he lead her to the dance floor as the live band took a brief pause between songs. "What are you doing?" Lily hissed, glaring up at him, her mask of pleased poise evaporating.

"Giving you a break," Scorpius said, and Lily tried not to flinch when he put his hand on her lower back and grasped one of her hands with the other.

"A break?" the redhead scoffed, free hand going automatically to his shoulder. "A bloody _break_? Yeah right. You've no idea what you've done, Scorpius," she growled. The blond saw the fear flashing in her hazel eyes, even hiding behind her fury. "But I can promise you, this will be anything but a break."

"I'm sorry" the blond murmured after the music had started and he lead her in a flawless waltz. Lily's shoulders sagged slightly.

"Me too," she said. "Or I will be," she added under her breath, but Scorpius heard her. She focused on enjoying the brief respite from smiling, letting herself be lead by Scorpius's effortless grace on autopilot, knowing all too soon she'd be regretting even the few minutes away from acting at her husband's side.

"Lily," Scorpius said after several long moments, and she glanced up, her anger having melted into fear that churned in her belly. There was always the chance that Thad would have too much to drink and forget about her dancing with another wizard. Or, more likely, he'd drink just enough to remember and be at the peak of violent and abusive whenever they got home. "Please, I'm begging you," he whispered, but before he could finish his statement, the song drew it's finale, and he spun her one last time before pulling her far closer than proper etiquette dictated and dipping her dramatically.

When he righted her, despite being pressed up against the very warm, solid, and utterly reassuring male form of her impromptu dance partner, Lily felt a definite curl of terror threading through her stomach. "I can't," Lily said, staring up at Scorpius for a beat too long, hating that her natural response was wanting to surge onto her toes and kiss him. She pulled herself away in the next breath, and turned, without looking back, and walked promptly off the dance floor. Her chest was heaving in anxiety, even as her cheeks burned with the knowledge of just what her husband would say. It took a monumental effort to maintain her neutral expression.

"Back so soon?" Thad said in a deadly soft tone as she found him, not far from where she'd left him, and curled her hand around his elbow. He didn't bother to look at her, and Lily's eyes dropped to the floor. "I almost forgot my _wife_ was my date this evening," he added in a suggestive, and to Lily, terrifyingly teasing tone.

"Thad," she whispered, closing her eyes, mask crumbling ever so slightly, and she could feel her husband look at her.

"Excuse us, would you?" he merely said, to whomever he was talking to she presumed, and Lily sucked in a silent gasp as her husband's hand clamped over hers upon his arm, and she flashed a smile at the middle aged, thoroughly snobby couple her husband had been talking to. She didn't even stumble as Thaddeus half lead, half dragged, her toward the bar.

"Thaddeus," she whispered as they moved in silence, her stewing in uncertain fear, him emitting palpable waves of silent, deadly fury.

"You are so goddamn lucky I could talk myself out of looking like a fool by telling Higgins and Clarkson you've known that bastard since you were a kid," Thaddeus growled, his tone rough and low, directly against her ear after stopping them abruptly, whirling her to face him. His hands closed around her upper arms, gripping firmly, making her uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry," she breathed, turning her face into his neck, knowing she'd never be able to keep the grimace of pain hidden as her husband squeezed her flesh in warning and then released her.

"Not yet you're not," he said, and pulled away, smiling. And, always the one to keep up appearances, Thaddeus dragged a tender finger down the line of her jaw, thumb brushing her lips as his palm cupped her cheek. Lily looked up into his very blue, icy cold and dead eyes, and didn't resist as he tilted her mouth up to his own. "Not just yet," he rumbled.

"Please," Lily whispered, hazel eyes desperate, hand moving to hold his wrist next to her neck, but Thaddeus merely smirked.

"You know the rules, honey," he merely said in a dark tone, and then kissed her, softly, gently, making her body relax just enough, even as her head sounded silent alarm bells. He broke away before they could even toe the line of being indecent, and Lily supposed, to anyone watching, it merely looked like a perfectly innocuous, intimate gesture between a married couple. She couldn't seem to tamp down the dread that threatened to choke her.

She remained, for the rest of the evening, at Thaddeus's side, smiling without fail and drinking sparkling water after her little dance interlude, not daring to refuse whatever her husband ordered her at the bar. Even if she wanted to drink herself into oblivion. He socialized and networked and Lily walked on eggshells beside him, avoiding talking when necessary and eye contact altogether.

Even when they'd, briefly, wandered their way into Lily's parents, the redheaded witch had made sure to be on her best behaviour, skirting around mentioning anything of importance, and quickly moved on. Even though she felt like she was leaving a safe harbour to weather an ocean storm alone as she did.

By the time they got back to their suite of rooms in Nott Hall, Lily's hands were trembling and Thaddeus had avoided her eye since they'd left the Gala. She paused in the middle of their bedroom as her husband removed, with quiet efficiency, her hand from his arm, striding to the massive walk in closet. "Get undressed," he finally said as she watched him deftly undoing his dress robes from behind. Lily stood frozen for a moment, heart sinking and missing a beat before starting up in double time. Surely, _surely_… "_Now_," her husband said, pausing in his own undress, turning his head to one side, still not making eye contact. It was enough for Lily to be spurred into action. She slipped off her jewels, putting them back into their heavily warded cases, unpinned her hair, licking her parched lips with an even drier tongue as she put the last of the pins on her dresser.

There was nothing she could do to prevent what the sick feeling in her gut told her was coming, and she tried to, perhaps in vain, mentally prepare herself as she took off her too tight robes. Thaddeus was her husband, and she'd known him intimately for a number of years. In all that time, even when he hurt her to the extreme, he'd never, _ever_, used what they shared in their marriage bed, and occasionally out of it, as a punishment. Certainly he was a selfish lover for the majority of their wedded years, and she'd sometimes faked, and often after the first few years not even needed that, her pleasure with her husband. But even those instances, where she was left aching for _more_, or where her husband had gotten rough, Thaddeus had never _forced_ her.

She flinched as he came up behind her, and she could feel the warm texture of his skin against her back. A shudder crept up her spine as he pushed her hair aside, revealing the smooth column of her neck, his warm breath washing over her flesh with unnerving, tentative arousal. "Thaddeus, please don't," she whispered, and gasped as his hand instantly fisted in her locks, forcing her head roughly aside. She braved looking sideways and up, meeting his brilliant blue gaze for the first time. And she felt her heart clench as if too many wrongs had been laid against it, and something important for structural integrity crumbled under the strain. Because instead of the dead, flat blue his eyes took on with the usual impassive, pureblood mask, they were alive with the glimmer of not too many whiskeys and her impending pain.

"Don't make the mistake, Lily, of thinking you have any say in this." She closed her eyes, trying to hold in the tears she knew would infuriate him. His hand relaxed, slid free of her hair and across her shoulder. "I own you," he said with absolute conviction. "You're nothing more than property to me, Lily." She held her breath as his hand moved, slow and gentle, a false impression of reverence, down over her breast, softly cupping the weight, the pad of his thumb ever so slightly grazing her nipple. She let out her breath shakily, even as her body, one he'd come to know as intimately as she knew his moods, responded. She cringed, hating the traitorous response of her flesh. "And more," Thaddeus crooned, his tone pitched icy and low, "you're not even particularly _valuable_ property."

She lost the battle against her tears, and one hot droplet of saline coursed down her cheek. "Thad, _please_," she whispered, voice quavering.

Her husband groaned. "How I do _love_ to hear you beg, honey," he said, and she felt her cheeks burn with shame even as something like arousal flared between her thighs as he plucked at her nipple teasingly. "But you should know better than that," he said, and Lily's stomach jolted as he pressed himself to her from behind fully, feeling the hot line of his arousal, and the tears fell fast and thick, even though she'd learned to keep them silent. He would do it. He would have whatever he liked from her, whether she pleaded him not to or simply remained silent, and she felt part of herself dying. The naive, foolish, and utterly blind girl she'd been who'd let this wizard sweep her off her feet and lost herself in the process.

Thaddeus's hand skimmed leisurely down her stomach as it's twin moved to treat her other breast and nipple to the same aching, gentle experience, making her breathing hitch and jerk again. The redhead tried to swallow, and ignore her husband's hands upon her, coaxing unwilling responses from her, even as her mind rebelled. She fought to remain still, to ignore the feelings, the temptation to give in to his prowess, to convince herself she could be strong. Her heart thundered in her ears as she felt his hand at last slide to the apex of her thighs, lightly cupping her mound, while its twin slid up from her breast to rest lightly around her throat. She swallowed convulsively as his palm caressed her neck in a deadly reminder of who held the power.

She vowed to herself she wouldn't beg him not to, or, if he should, beg him to stop. She only prayed he wouldn't make her enjoy it.

"So wet," Thaddeus drawled, making Lily's cheeks burn with humiliation. "You can't tell me you don't like it, Lily," he continued, his tone arrogant, mocking, and utterly amused at her foolishness. She cringed as he breathed next to her ear and then dragged his teeth over the lobe, his hand moving to cup her throat now, in a parody of strangling her, making her eyes fall shut and her terror spike.

Still, the redheaded witch didn't make a peep. Thaddeus proceeded to tease and coax her body into a hot, fevered pitch, fingers dancing over her slick folds and straining clitoris with consummate skill of precisely what would make her come undone for him. She couldn't hold back the gasp of pleasure when, at long last, his long fingers speared into her, curling and pressing and seeking the detonator for her orgasm. Lily reached down, grasping his wrist, even if she couldn't be sure in that moment if it was to stop her husband or encourage him to finish her entirely.

"Tell me to stop," Thaddeus, demanded, his tone harsh, breathing heavy, and Lily squeezed her eyes shut tightly, trying to hold back her noises of satisfaction. "Tell me," he demanded again, and she felt him grind his arousal into the cleft of her arse. Lily bit her lip hard enough to draw blood as Thaddeus's fingers, at last, found the very part of her that would lead to her complete and utter submission. She couldn't hold back the soft, guttural moan, when his fingers swirled over it with purpose. "We both know you won't," he said, and even as Lily felt her lust curling and tightening into an orgasm, her husband squeezed her neck teasingly. "I can feel _just_ how much you fucking love this, bitch."

Lily choked on a sob, terror and arousal fighting for dominance, adrenaline spiking when Thaddeus withdrew his fingers from her and something harder and much more significant pressed against her soaked quim. She braced in the same moment her husband thrust her top half forward and over her dresser as he bucked into her, his flesh cleaving her in one fell swoop, plunging deep enough to hurt and wrench a cry of pain from her before he pulled out again.

She gasped, instantly tensing as her husband pushed roughly back in, no longer bothering to pretend at foreplay and simply thrusting home into her with no regard for how she might feel. And as the sharp sting of tears fought for dominance over the bile rising in her throat, Lily felt part of herself, the tiniest part that had kept holding out hope, being snuffed out. She had no idea how long it lasted, and after those first few moments before her brain shut down, suppressing the pain and horror, the redheaded witch barely felt anything at all.

XXX


	10. 9 - June

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Nine - June

Lily paced, head down, across the marble floors of the master bath at Nott Hall, her stomach churning with nausea even though she'd already vomited the contents of her stomach before the sun had woken. The sun, now risen and lighting up the room, hit her as she paced, her shadow following suit against the wall, her brow furrowed and mouth set into a frown that would have instantly had her mother in law chastising her for future wrinkles. She wondered how this had happened. She'd been careful, _so_ _careful_, to take the recommended dose of probably illicit potion that prevented her falling pregnant _every time_ she'd been intimate with her husband. The redheaded witch then began to wonder, half hoping she was wrong and half sure she wasn't, if perhaps her husband had slipped her something else that would have counteracted her potion. Because now she had missed her period by more than two weeks couldn't bear the sight or smell of anything that wasn't bread or potatoes without wanting to vomit. And Lily was bloody _terrified_ her husband, or worse, her mother in law, would find out she was most likely pregnant.

She stopped dead suddenly, a new, horrifying thought occurring to her that made her mouth drop open, face morphing from thoughtful to terrifying understanding of just how this, the thing she'd tried so hard for months to prevent, had happened. She'd taken the potion _every single time_ after being intimate with her husband, of that Lily was certain. But she hadn't taken it that awful night last month. The night she gave up hope that her Thad would ever break free of the pureblood pretentiousness that had been ingrained into him through generations of superiority complexes before him. And the night she curled into a ball under a scalding hot shower and sobbed her eyes out once her husband had left her, feeling hopeless and broken on their bedroom floor, spitting on her after raping her.

Lily instantly felt tears beginning to blur her eyes, but took a deep steadying breath and set her shoulders. She knew for a fact no one else was home, and that no one else would be home for hours. Her husband would probably eat lunch out, her mother in law was having a leisurely tea, which meant afternoon drinks, with some of her pureblood debutante friends, and the redheaded witch knew, if she was ever going to have the courage to leave, it was to save her baby from ever having to see or experience her pain. And Thaddeus and Cordelia Nott, she knew, were experts at pain.

She couldn't live with herself if she let a child, an innocent life, be brought into that, and so, with a resolve that felt shaky at best, Lily moved with decisive movements to the bedroom. She Summoned her singular suitcase from within the closet, and began to pull clothes down, by hand, then packing them efficiently in her magically enhanced suitcase. Her makeup and toiletries were Summoned a moment later with a flick of the redhead's wrist, and within minutes, Lily had packed herself a bag to leave and, if she was lucky, she would never come back.

Lily looked around at the bedroom she'd slept in for years now, and felt her heart drop when her hazel gaze landed on her now almost empty dresser, recalling the horrors she'd been party to against it once more, and shuddered. She let her gaze slide traitorously to the bed, the piece of furniture she and her husband, as newlyweds, had spent hours lying in, talking about their hopes and dreams for a future together. Only now, the redheaded witch felt a hollow sense of loss, because while _she_ had spilled her heart to the wizard she'd thought she'd love until she died, in hindsight it became apparent that Thaddeus had, almost all along, simply been grooming her into being beholden to him, and utterly powerless in their relationship.

She took one last breath and exhaled sharply, hefting her bag and heading toward the Floo, grasping a handful of powder and telling herself she was doing the right thing, even though her foolish, stupid heart ached with guilt. Lily pushed her emotions aside, tossed her handful of powder into the grate, and stepped into the green flames, shouting as she did, "Scorpius Malfoy's flat!"

She stepped out into the sitting room that still felt almost incongruous to the Malfoy heir she remembered from her younger years, but oddly fitting for the man she now knew, and let out a breath of apprehensive tension as she set her bag down, certain she'd once heard pregnant women shouldn't lift heavy things. "Scorpius?" she called, moving to see if he might be in the kitchen, but, as she froze, Scorpius stepped from the bathroom, once again wearing nothing but a towel. Lily's cheeks instantly went pink and she forced herself not to gawk at the physical perfection laid bare before her, and gulped anxiously.

"Lily," he said, and smiled awkwardly. "You have the funniest knack for coming over when I'm not dressed, you know," he said, and laughed hesitantly, then noticed her strained smile and the fear in her eyes. "What's wrong?" he asked, brow furrowing and smile dropping.

Lily stepped back as he moved to pull her close instinctively, and Scorpius cursed himself. "I just…" She trailed off looking hesitant, and glanced back to the fireplace in his living room, and his gaze followed, noticing her bag set neatly beside the hearth. "You said once," she murmured, not meeting his eyes, and Scorpius forced himself to be patient and not push her, "that if I wanted to leave… That if I wanted to leave my husband, you'd keep me safe."

Scorpius, who'd all but stopped breathing at those words, nodded jerkily, and licked his lips. "Yes," he said gruffly.

Lily nodded back, looking half terrified and half fearless when she met his gaze. "Does that offer still stand?" she asked, and Scorpius let out his breath slowly, trying to contain the rush of joy welling within him, filling up his chest with warmth and threatening to turn up the corners of his mouth.

"It does," he said, nodding decisively.

Lily nodded slowly. "I…" She sucked in a deep breath, pushed her shoulders back, and looked at him directly. "I want to leave him, and I need somewhere to-"

"Lily," he sighed, at last giving into the urge to grin at her. "You can stay as long as you need, or if you want to go somewhere else, I can-"

"I want to stay here," she said, and then stepped back after he leaned in to hug her once more. "At least, for now," she qualified, pointedly looking at the ground, and Scorpius bit back a curse again, recalling his almost indecent state of undress.

"The second bedroom is down the hall. You can get settled and I'll just-"

"Get dressed?" she provided, and Scorpius chuckled, even though he didn't think it was necessarily prudent, considering the circumstances of Lily's visit.

"Yes. That," he replied and Lily nodded.

"Thank you," she murmured, even as Scorpius turned to return to the bathroom.

"No," Scorpius said, turning back, blond hair falling rakishly across his forehead as his grey eyes, steady and promising her she could trust the wizard in possession of them, held her hazel gaze. "Thank you, Lily," he said. As she quirked her head in question, he smiled the tiniest bit and added, "For finally believing you're worth more."

The redhead felt her stomach churn uncomfortably at that, because she was definitely not leaving for herself, but for the tiny life within her that she hadn't wanted and now was sacrificing everything for. "Then you're welcome, Scorpius," she replied as lightly as possible, and moved to fetch her bag from where she'd left it, telling herself sternly that just because Scorpius had agreed to help her, didn't mean she could afford to tell him _all_ her secrets.

Precisely one week later, Lily was heading out of Scorpius's apartment to meet with a confidential Healer to confirm her worst nightmare, that she was in fact carrying the next heir, or heiress, of the House of Nott, Sacred Twenty Eight family and future inheritor of Nott Hall. The redheaded witch knew that to visit her regular Healer, and especially her mother in law's paid enabler, would result in her husband and his mother finding out she was in fact pregnant, as she heavily suspected. She'd still not gotten her period and the nausea, which she was positive Scorpius had noticed despite her best efforts to keep hidden, had persisted stubbornly as well. And there was some innate feeling within her that was all but certain she'd still gotten herself knocked up despite all her efforts and intentions, and that was something to protect, something to fight for.

An hour later, she had the diagnosis in hand. Pregnant. Roughly eight or nine weeks so, at that. "If you're looking to terminate the pregnancy, I-" the Healer, a young man with kind eyes and a frowning mouth, began, but Lily simply shook her head, putting a protective hand on her stomach that was still flat.

"I'm not," she said softly but firmly, and the Healer nodded.

"I can't prescribe you any potions, and you really should look into seeing a prenatal specialist Healer at St. Mungo's," the young wizard reminded her, but Lily, who was already on her feet, merely forced her mechanical, brilliant smile. She dropped her eyes, hoping the young wizard, who she thought she might have gone to Hogwarts with, and shared a Potions bench with in Sixth Year incidentally, the longer she'd looked at him, didn't recognize her.

"Thank you so much," she said politely, and hurried out of the little clinic that had been set up in Knockturn Alley for those who either couldn't afford or were too afraid to visit St. Mungo's directly. It was also, Lily knew, the perfect place to go if one didn't want any trace of a medical examination for maladies, after hearing it mentioned in regard to 'unwanted bastards' that occasionally arose in pureblood circles, while accompanying her mother in law to tea, when she'd been a newlywed.

Once back within the relative safety of Diagon Alley, Lily wandered on autopilot toward Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, the now quite-popular establishment that Diagon had been sorely lacking since the end of the Second wizarding war until Fred Weasley II bought it. Now, with his husband and their unofficial mascot, Flo, their Great Dane, the place was a success and much loved, especially by the redhead, who indulged in her family-is-free discount whenever she was around. On this day, however, Lily wasn't in the mood for ice cream, or anything else that the little cafe served, and simply sat down in one of the chairs at the umbrella-topped tables on the patio, feeling uneasy.

She knew she should tell Scorpius about her predicament, and knew, also, that he'd do anything in his power to help her. Which, she supposed, accounted for her paralyzing fear at telling him, because she was afraid Scorpius, in his quest to help her, would become either entirely disenchanted with her, or she'd somehow ruin it all by learning to rely on him before his inevitable disenchantment. It was one thing to seek his help and quite another, to the redhead, to be able to reveal all her secrets to another living being, especially one she was currently relying on more than she knew was wise.

She sighed, frowning to herself, and then froze as someone sat down across from her. The familiar silhouette, backed by the blinding summer sun, brought with it on the light breeze a whiff of far too familiar cologne and aftershave, and a distinctly irritated expression rested on Thaddeus Nott's patrician features.

"Lily," he said, his voice a deadly soft caress over her eardrums, and the redhead shuddered, tucking the parchments in hand carefully inside her handbag.

"Thaddeus," she replied bravely, forcing, out of pure habit, a bright smile for the wizard she'd chosen to call her husband. When he merely lifted a questioning brow that she could interpret without hesitating to mean, 'Explain yourself, _now_', Lily gulped. "What brings you to Diagon Alley?" she asked, all her well-crafted tools for hiding her true emotions employed faultlessly. "I would have thought you were at work, Thad, I know it's a busy time-"

"I've been off for a week," he said and Lily's brows pulled together oh so slightly. She looked up at the pureblood she'd wedded, she felt something in her chest lighten. Because there, looking at her with a broken, lost expression, was her Thad, his vibrant blue eyes dimmed. "Lily, I… Gods, I thought something happened to you," he whispered. "I went to the Auror Department, tried to file a missing persons report," Thaddeus said, looking desperate. "I was terrified something had happened to you, honey." She felt her heart rate speed up as he grasped her hand, but his fingers were gentle, cradling her appendage as if she might shatter at any given moment. His very blue eyes, the feature she'd most been attracted to right off the hop, dropped to their hands for a moment, and she felt him adjust the diamond engagement ring, with matching diamond encrusted wedding band, on her finger. When he looked up again she saw that he looked hopeful. That seeing she'd not removed her wedding rings had somehow buoyed him up, when in truth, Lily just hadn't thought about taking them off yet, still trying to deal with living away from her husband. "I thought I'd lost you," Thaddeus whispered, and Lily flinched slightly as he squeezed her hand briefly, although it wasn't at all hard.

"Thad," she whispered, closing her eyes and her mouth, tempted to tell him why she was leaving, knowing she couldn't.

Her husband leaned forward, brushing a tender hand over her cheek, and Lily let out a slow breath, trying to stay strong in her convictions. Thaddeus Nott could never know she was pregnant, nor could his mother, and the two of them would surely ruin a child. Lily needed to at least give her baby a chance to _live_. "Please come back to me, Lily," Thaddeus whispered, and she felt his mouth ghosting over hers, the words forming erratic puffs of breath across her lips. "Please, I'm begging you," he added.

Lily's will crumbled ever so slightly at that. Thaddeus never begged, at least not her. He took what he wanted with decisive force, and the redhead hadn't heard those words leave his lips in years, at least. "I can't," she whispered, trying to convince herself.

Thaddeus seemed to know it. "Of course you can. Whatever's wrong, we'll fix it," he murmured, kissing her with a brush of his mouth over hers now. "Whatever the problem is, we can figure it out, Lily." She took in a shaky breath, feeling the guilt of knowing just what she would be keeping from him all but crushing her. "I _need _you," Thaddeus added fervently, and Lily winced, because this time his hand squeezing hers almost hurt. He countered the brief throb with another gentle brush of his lips over hers, making her breath hitch.

"I…" she breathed, then trailed off weakly. The nasty little voice in the back of her head told her she was being stupid. She'd signed up for life with this wizard, this man, and she couldn't just go bailing on that. And if she just _told_ him the awful truth, maybe things would get better. Hell, for all she knew, stupid as she'd been repetitively told she was, this could be the thing that saved their marriage. She had to try, right? Marriage wasn't just giving up when things got hard. She'd be giving her husband the gift of an heir, the one thing every pureblood had ingrained into them since childhood to aspire to in the future, and maybe that would make her good enough in his eyes.

"Please, Lily," he said again, this time in a broken whisper, and she watched his face crumple entirely before he turned away. Her heart, broken as she'd thought it, thudded meaningfully in her chest.

"Okay," she whispered, and even though her stomach sank as he husband kissed her properly, she forged on as he pulled away.

"You'll come home with me?" Thad asked, those brilliantly blue eyes of his positively lighting up with relief and happiness, reminding Lily of old times, making her feel like this might actually work. She nodded, and her husband grinned widely. "I love you," he murmured, leaning in to kiss her again. "I love you so much, honey, and-"

"I'm pregnant," Lily said, without thinking, telling the first person in what felt like forever since she'd first suspected. Time itself seemed to stop as Thaddeus froze and Lily's breath caught in her chest at the same moment, and instantly she regretted her decision when a hard coldness passed over Thad's face. "Or, at least, um, I'm pretty sure… It's just, I… I haven't- I meant that I..."

"When did you find out?" Thaddeus hissed accusingly, all soft traces of her loving Thad gone once more. "How long have you known?" She gasped as he squeezed the hand still in his grip in warning. "Who else knows?"

"No one," she whispered, even as the tears began to well in her eyes. She could never tell Thad the whole truth, that she'd found out over a week ago, and that was the reason she'd left. She'd have to spin this in the only way her husband wouldn't fly off the handle at her. "I just found out today," she whispered miserably, unable to look into those icy blue eyes that judged her and found her wanting. She pulled the sheet of parchment from her bag. "I knew," she murmured, still staring at the table, "that I had to come back to you when I found out, but I was scared, and I didn't…"

Thaddeus tilted her chin up and Lily's stomach churned and squirmed uncomfortably until he smiled at her. It wasn't the warm, loving smile _her_ Thad used to beam at her with, but nor was it the frigid, bland, pureblood smile he employed in social gatherings. It was a calculated, smug little smile, almost a smirk, that made Lily's skin crawl, even as Thaddeus brought her hand to his mouth, kissing her knuckles gently.

"Oh Lily," he sighed, rising and pulling her to her feet, moving in to brush his lips across her cheek, even as he folded her hand into the crook of his arm, efficiently taking control of her once more. "My silly little wife," he added. "You thought I would be upset you left?" he asked, but before LIly could respond, he answered for her. "Of course not, honey. You're carrying my heir." Lily closed her eyes, heart sinking to her toes, as Thaddeus leaned close and murmured low enough that no passersby would overhear, "And if you ever try to pull a stunt like that again, I can promise you, Lily, I will be more than upset." She shuddered and he grinned down at her. "But I'll always take you back," he added. "You're mine, after all, honey. And I've no intentions of just letting you go."

XXX


	11. 10 - July

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Ten - July

"Scorpius," Lily said, feeling like she was going to be sick. She didn't want the blond pureblood to see her like this. Hell, she didn't even want to see herself like this, damn it. But she couldn't deny, she was unbearably glad he'd come. She hadn't seen him since that awful June evening, when the weather was just turning balmy, when he'd pleaded with her not to do what she'd done. But when she'd been rushed to hospital, Lily didn't know who else to ask, who else would be willing to show up if she reached out.

"The Healers told me everything," he said roughly. She looked at the sheets in her lap, feeling like she might start crying again. It seemed like she hadn't stopped crying since she'd been admitted.

"I can't go back," she said after a long moment of silence fell between them, and when her face screwed up against the tears, she buried it in her hands.

"I won't let you," Scorpius said, making no move to touch her, even as his heart broke and she sobbed into her hands.

"Don't," she said seriously. "I know you were right, I know all of you were right, but I just…" She shook her head, trying to gasp enough air between sobs. "I wanted to think it would be better," she whispered brokenly, and dissolved into incoherent sobbing once more. Scorpius couldn't resist, and moved toward her, climbing right into bed with Lily and pulling her against him so she could at least sob her heart out on his shoulder.

He felt his heart swell as she clung to him. "You don't ever have to go back, Lily," he breathed, pressing her close, probably greedily, and cuddling her limp, too thin form against himself.

"Thank you," she breathed.

Scorpius pulled her impossibly closer, unable to tell her how badly he needed her to be okay, how badly he required her to find herself again, and most of all, how much he positively needed her period. Her life and her light to make his own existence worthwhile, her smile to make his own blossom, and her unquenchable fire that stoked him into living life as a better human being. "Anytime, Lily," he whispered, and held her until her tears dried.

The next morning, Lily was released and went, with his assistance, to her parents' house. Needless to say, Ginny Potter was shocked to see them both at her back door as she was cooking breakfast, but welcomed her daughter and almost son inside with good grace. "Lily!" Ginny said delightedly when the younger redheaded witch appeared in her mother's kitchen that thrummed with activity. But the second Ginny Weasley looked at her daughter, taking in the wan, timid smile upon her face, the shadows under her red rimmed eyes, everything fell into stasis. "What's happened, honey?" she asked, worry lacing her tone, and Lily felt her fragile composure cracking.

"I-" she said, drawing up short, unable to figure out where to start. But when she felt her mother's arms pulling her into a determined, comforting hug, and Lily was enveloped in the cinnamon and love scent of her mother, she felt her defenses crumbling in the wake of her sorrow. "I need you, Mum," she breathed, and then the tears began, and she clung with desperate need to her mother.

"Oh, Lily, my darling girl, what happened?" Ginny said, cuddling her daughter close, rocking her body ever so slightly, an unconscious gesture from when she'd rocked her as an infant. She smoothed a hand over her daughter's dark red locks, and brushed a kiss across her daughter's hairline, trying to console her baby over what seemed to be a monumental incident.

"I don't know what to do," Lily sobbed, and Ginny looked up, seeing, for the first time, Scorpius hanging at the doorway to her kitchen. He looked somber, and exhausted. She glared expectantly at him, knowing, by the tight line of his mouth, he knew exactly what was wrong with Lily. But Scorpius wouldn't meet her eyes, his gaze glued to Lily, which only made Ginny more suspicious.

"Has someone hurt you?" she asked her daughter softly, hoping to Merlin she wouldn't have to curse the wizard who'd once been like a son at her home on Hogwarts holidays. The younger redheaded witch sobbed impossibly harder at that, and Ginny openly glared at Scorpius now. "Scorpius, what's going-?" she began darkly.

"It's not his fault," Lily said, taking in a deep, shuddering breath, as if attempting to hold herself together. Ginny squeezed her tighter for a beat, frowning in confusion as her daughter flinched away for a moment from the pressure. Lily looked into her mother's eyes, trying to hold it together long enough to say what needed to be said. "Scorpius saved me," she said, voice wobbling and cracking.

"Saved you?" Ginny repeated, looking beyond concerned and confused now. Lily glanced briefly at Scorpius and his drawn, yet stern expression. "What's happened, honey? I don't under-"

"My husband hits me," the younger redhead interrupted abruptly, and silence fell. Lily swallowed and tried to gather her scant courage. "I… I made Scorpius not tell anyone when he found out, but, a couple days ago…" She gulped again, unable to keep her mother's anxious and furious brown gaze any longer. "Thaddeus assaulted me, and…" She closed her eyes, unable to stop picturing what was sure to be dawning horror on her mother's beloved features. "And I was pregnant," she whispered into the absolute silence, telling herself, as tears threatened to fall and choke her again, she just had to spit it all out before she could fall apart again. "But by the time I got to St. Mungo's, it… It was…" Lily choked on the words, but grit her teeth and, using the strength she'd always drawn from to be okay and force herself to keep going in her marriage, kept talking. "It was too late for the baby." Her voice broke on the last word, and she fell apart all over again, burying her face in her mother's chest, holding her tight, desperate for security and warmth and love only one redheaded witch could give her.

"Lily," Ginny whispered into her daughter's hair, squeezing her chocolate brown eyes together to stem the flow of her own tears, jaw clenching as horrified sickness waved through her belly. "Oh Lily, honey," she gasped, sucking in a fortifying breath, telling herself she had to be strong for her daughter. The tears still flowed hot and fast from the corners of her eyes. "I didn't even know you were-! What do you mean he-? Oh, my little Lily flower," Ginny whispered desperately, brain whirring, trying to process all the things she'd just heard, her motherly instincts squeezing Lily tight.

"I'm sorry," Lily sobbed. "I'm sorry, _I'm sorry_, I know I should've-"

"Oh no, honey, no. You don't have to be sorry for a thing," Ginny said, and in a manner that greatly resembled her own mother, she pulled away from Lily, wiped the girl's tears with her apron, and clucked her tongue softly. "We'll have tea, and we can talk about it, honey. Scorpius, put the kettle on, will you?" Ginny said, waving her wand lazily so that the making of breakfast continued, and guided Lily to the kitchen table.

"I-I don't think-" Lily began, starting to panic inside, the old terror and fear of ever revealing the truth, despite the fact she'd already spilled the beans, resurfacing. The fear at what might happen if she ever told a soul clawing up her throat, while the wretched terror made her stomach churn and clench.

"Nonsense," Ginny cut across her, squeezing Lily's shoulders in a familiar, comforting gesture before they sat at the well loved wooden table. "You're obviously upset, and I think the best thing is to talk about it," the elder redhead insisted. Lily sat, let her mother serve her a breakfast she was positive she wouldn't touch, and accepted tea. Her mother waited with an expectant face, then glanced up at Scorpius. "Perhaps, Scorpius, if you weren't here it-"

"No," Lily said, a tiny bit louder than she'd intended, and her face flushed as she stared at the wood grain on the table she recalled from childhood. "I-I just mean that, um, y'know, I don't mind if Scorpius is here, I just…" The redhead tried to be brave, like everyone else in her family, and licked her lips, pushing some hair behind her ear. "It's still really hard for me to...talk about it. In any sense." _Or think about it, or remember it_.

"I know, honey," she whispered, and the younger witch felt her eyes fill with tears once more as her mother grasped her hand gently, cradling it in both of her own like she always did, as long as Lily could remember. "You take your time, and I promise you, no matter what, I'm here for you my darling girl."

Lily smiled weakly for a beat, and took a mechanical sip of tea, sitting as straight and rigid as she would when she'd attend tea with her mother in law, daintily setting the mug back down. "Then I suppose I should start at the beginning," Lily whispered, and spent the next twenty minutes giving a brief, mostly vague and non-detailed, account of the private aspects of her marriage to her mother. She pointedly didn't look at Scorpius the entire time she was talking, because while he might have known things happened behind closed doors, and just what her injuries were and their treatments while at St. Mungo's, but he didn't have all the details. And the words that tumbled, unchecked, from her mouth as she talked to her mum, painted a much clearer picture of just how cruel and controlling Lily's husband had turned.

It took another twenty minutes to convince Ginny Potter not to go after Thaddeus Nott and hex the crap out of him, as he rightly deserved in the elder redhead's opinion, and then some. It took almost as long still to swear Ginny to secrecy over everything she'd just heard. And while Ginny naturally protested vociferously, with Lily's promise she would tell her father when she was ready, and less emotionally raw, and Scorpius's vow he would back her up if Lily didn't come clean, they finally managed to convince the elder redhead to keep her silence on the matter.

And when Lily finally made it back to Scorpius's flat, the same place she'd fled on her last, failed attempt at leaving Thaddeus, she wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, hide under the blanket, and possibly never come back out. She was relieved when Scorpius left her to her own devices after they arrived at his flat, excusing himself and mentioning he had some business to attend to, and would be absent for a few hours. Lily nodded mutely, unable to speak as she moved to open the door to Scorpius's guest room once more. "Lily, he said, making her pause and glance back at him, the unshed tears in her eyes and the sag of her shoulders making the blond fumble his words for a beat.

"Yeah?" she asked, trying to be gracious, because this wizard was, technically, housing her for the foreseeable future. And the redhead most certainly was grateful she had someone to turn to, someone who might know her, and even be able to almost understand her, and who supported her despite all the evidence her choices were faulty at best.

"I just…" For a moment, Lily wondered if he would say anything at all as the silence stretched between them, growing taut and the tiniest bit awkward, as if there were something in Scorpius's very dark, steady grey eyes she didn't recognize, or yet understand. "I promise it will get better. Easier," Scorpius said after a too-long moment of tense silence. Lily's mouth quirked up very briefly on one side, and she looked down at the floor.

"Thanks," she said, and before Scorpius could say more, she'd slipped into his guest bedroom, shut the door, and silence no less tense or pregnant with anticipation followed. The blond wizard shook his head, pushed a hand through his hair, and cursed himself for a fool. Even if he'd meant it, he doubted that was what Lily needed to hear, and probably thought him an idiot.

He sighed, threw on his robes, and headed out. He did indeed have some business that needed tending to, and there was no better time, after the morning he'd had, to go about it, he reckoned. Thaddeus Nott had been long deserving a fist in the face, and Scorpius would be delighted to provide it, even if he had no need to get his hands dirty.

XXX


	12. 11

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Eleven

"So, um, I have an announcement to make," Lily said shakily, licking her lips and glancing across the dinner table at her parents' house at Scorpius, as if for reassurance. A movement that wasn't unnoticed by both her brothers and father, while her mother's eyes were trained down at her plate, shoulders tense because she already knew just what Lily was planning to say. "I, um…" She trailed off, then sucked in a deep breath, nodded very slightly, as if to reassure herself, and looked directly at her father, into those clear, vibrantly green eyes. "I'm leaving my husband. Or, I suppose, I've left him already, but I just, I'm not going...back. To Thaddeus. I, er, that is, I…" She felt her breath whooshing out and tried to maintain her failing courage, even as dark brows furrowed, and she peeked over at her brother Albus, into identical emerald eyes, and saw the mirrored confusion.

"Go on, Lily," Scorpius said quietly, and she sucked in another breath as she nodded to herself again, flashing the blond a quick smile of thanks for pushing her when she needed it.

"What the fuck is-?" Albus began, gaze darting from his sister to his best friend then back rapidly, but Lily, finding her voice, interrupted him before even Ginny could admonish his language at the dinner table.

"I want to lodge a formal complaint," Lily said in a firm, unwavering voice that belied her internal nerves at what she was going to say. "With your office," she added, looking back to her father, swallowing roughly as Harry's dark eyebrows pulled together harshly now. "Against Thaddeus," she said with finality, and there was a long, heavy beat of silence in the Potter kitchen after the words passed Lily's lips.

"With the Auror Office?" Harry clarified quite calmly, carefully setting his utensils down beside his plate and folding his hands above it.

Lily gulped, her courage wavering, and glanced across at Scorpius again. He regarded her quietly, his steady, dark grey gaze meeting her anxious hazel one, and the redhead drew a shaky breath. "Um, I meant with…" Lily began, tripping over the words, even as her lips and tongue conspired to stop her, as if she'd almost been tongue tied against saying anything against her husband. She squared her shoulders, lifted her chin, and let out a long puff of air. "I meant with the Domestic Affairs branch, actually. I want to lodge a complaint because my husband is abusive."

For another long moment there was nothing but silence, during which Ginny reached out and grasped Lily's hand in a show of silent support, for which the younger redheaded witch was eternally grateful. She didn't drop her eyes from her father, who continued to stare at her, asking myriad questions in the span of a breath within his vibrant emerald eyes, but Lily couldn't speak, or think, let alone even react, to the bomb of information she'd just dropped. To her relief, her brothers, almost in the same instant, seemed to find their voices, and burst into vehement fury.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?" Albus practically shouted, shoving his chair back and rising to his feet abruptly, turning his shocked face from his sister to Scorpius. When nothing but silence met that immediate declaration, he repeated, eyes bulging, "_Are you fucking-_!?" before his older brother cut him off abruptly.

"I knew that sonofabitch was a no good motherfucker!" James snarled, remaining in his seat, although he banged a fist on the table. Lily couldn't help herself. She flinched hard, away from the loud, imperious bang that resounded, and felt her mother's hand clenching around her own. The younger redhead's gaze dropped almost automatically, holding back the grimace as her mother jumped up and demanded her brothers cease and desist with their violent outbursts and excessive cursing at the dinner table, while Lily cringed again at the resulting shouting from her brothers. She could understand their fury, wholeheartedly, but the exuberance of their displeasure was far too reminiscent of former home life to make Lily anything except terrified and anxious.

She glanced up just in time to watch her father slowly, calmly, and without saying a word, get up from the table and disappear down the hall toward his study. Lily felt tears sting her eyes and a heavy shroud of guilt settle around her. She all but choked on the devastation that she'd so clearly disappointed her father enough he couldn't even bear to be in the same room as her, had her ducking her head, staring down at the mostly untouched food on her plate.

In doing so, the younger redheaded witch missed the positively venomous glare that Albus sent his best friend, lip curling with mingled betrayal and anger while green eyes showed nothing but revulsion for the blond wizard. "And you're the convenient hero, then?" Albus said brazenly, glaring at his best mate of more than a decade, while Scorpius stared back placidly, trying to avoid saying the words he all but knew Albus had inferred.

"I'm the convenient safehouse," the tall blond replied evenly, his fork still loaded with the first bite of the Ginny Potter, who'd learned to cook at the knee of Molly Weasley no less, world famous roasted chicken dinner. "And perhaps the strategically placed out."

Lily, who had looked up as soon as she'd heard Scorpius speaking, all but glared at Scorpius, because that made her sound as if she were some sort of refugee or worse. She most definitely took issue with the mention of a 'safehouse', because the redheaded witch was all but certain her staying with Scorpius was nothing more than a family friend by helping out his best mate's little sister in her time of need. And if Malfoy, the damnable arse, hadn't meddled in her life, or inserted himself into her existence so seamlessly, she doubted she'd have ever been free of her husband.

"And we're all supposed to believe you're just-?" Albus began hotly, looking at his best friend as if the man had somehow done something heinous enough to ruin their friendship. Lily was refusing to hear it. Scorpius, while she didn't like his phrasing, was essentially correct that he was nothing more or less than the lifeline she'd taken hold of to escape living Hell.

"Albus," she cut across her brother in as stern a tone as she could, even as her mother wrung her hands helplessly and James's gaze darted between the two of them. "You're overreacting." Her green eyed brother looked disbelieving still, but at least cooperatively fell silent. "The only thing Scorpius did was precisely what you, or James, would have done should I have come to either of you."

To her undying relief, Albus seemed relatively mollified by that assertion, as did James, while Lily couldn't help noticing her sister in law frowned for the first time, even though she remained silent still. "There you have it," Scorpius said blandly, in response, forcing his face into a brittle smile. Lily glanced over at him, wondering why he looked as if he were as displeased by her assertion to her family as Albus had looked at the thought there was more than anything but strictly platonic friendship between them despite it all.

There was a long beat of silence, where Lily wanted to either scream or curl into a tiny ball and become invisible with the expectant weight of it, before Cleo cleared her throat to break it, looking as nervous and unsure as Lily felt when their gazes met. "Regardless of how it happened, I'm glad you're here, safe with us, Lily," she said in a low, soothing tone that made Lily's eyes sting with tears.

She nodded silently, just wishing everyone would go back to normal, that she'd held her tongue and hadn't felt the need to ruin their family dinner with the news of her drama, hating that she'd believed Scorpius when he'd urged her to tell everyone and reassured her it would turn out just fine.

"So, James," Ginny said bravely, drawing her eldest son's attention to her, and out of the darkly brooding expression he'd been wearing most of the evening since Lily's big speech. "You mentioned earlier you might be thinking of a transfer at work? Something about switching Departments, was it?"

Lily picked up her fork after she was certain no one was paying her the slightest bit of attention despite the fact she was all but certain should she say anything the conversation would falter awkwardly once more. So she simply listened as James launched into the slightly impromptu offer he'd been given by the Head of the Department of Magical Games and Sports near the end of last week, picking at her food absently without eating a bit of it. Her stomach, still tense with anxiety and fear that the facade of normalcy would shatter again, couldn't help but churn guiltily as she stared at her father's place, his full plate still sitting there absurdly.

A soft knock of a knee into hers under the table had her gaze lifting ever so slightly to peer at Scorpius, who offered her a reassuring look. She watched his grey gaze dart down to her plate, then back to her hazel eyes and she sighed, shrugging one shoulder minutely in reply. His mouth quirked to one side, but then he looked away. Lily followed his gaze under her lashes, having realized James had stopped speaking and her father, looking somber, had returned. Lily set her fork back down gently, swallowing past a dry throat as emerald green eyes pinned her.

"You'll have to tell me everything, Lily," Harry Potter said softly, and then redhead nodded numbly, unsure if she could ever utter the words, hoping a written confession of sorts might suffice, even as panic swelled within her, making her breath come short. Spots danced in her peripherals, and she became aware her mother was saying something, but she wasn't at all sure what it was. It was as though Lily was trapped underwater, or perhaps inside a Bubble-Head Charm, because everything seemed horribly muffled and out of focus slightly.

She heard her father respond, and even as Lily felt her field of vision narrowing, she glanced up to see Scorpius rising from his seat abruptly, his mouth forming her name, before she blacked out entirely.

When she came to, Lily realized she was tucked up on Scorpius's sofa, and when she turned her head, she found herself staring directly at the grey-eyed, and gaunt, absolutely exhausted face of Scorpius Malfoy. "What-?" she rasped, feeling thirsty and her head aching.

"Don't worry, Lily," Scorpius sighed, smiling gently as he brought a cup of water to her lips for her. And even though she could see the lines of exhaustion on his face, and she felt beyond guilty for it, knowing she was undoubtedly the reason he'd probably been up half the night, waiting for her to regain consciousness and come to, no doubt worrying as well, along with the rest of her family, Lily couldn't help but feel hope, in that moment, that she _wasn't_ alone, and there really was someone who gave a damn. Despite it all, she wasn't the worst, and even if she was, it didn't matter to the wizard sitting across from her, smiling softly and helping her quench her parched throat. To him, at least, she was _important_, and not just for his image, but _to him_.

"Thank you," she whispered once she'd drank her fill, hating that she felt tears stinging her eyes once more.

Scorpius chuckled a little, his eyes turning sad. "You don't have to thank me, Lily," he said quietly.

"No, I-"

"You should get some sleep. No offence, but you look like you've just been through the ringer," Scorpius said again. "And you've had a shit night. Just take a break, relax, and we'll sort it all in the morning, alright?"

The redhead nodded, eyes closing. Even if she hated herself for it, and firmly told herself not to hope and not to trust that gut feeling that maybe, just maybe, she _actually_ meant something important to the tall, handsome blond who she was grateful had inserted himself into her life more than ever. It was a rather heady feeling, and left her feeling warm and comforted, even as she felt herself drift back into unconsciousness.

She didn't notice the way the tall blond, who'd risen to look down upon the woman who was becoming more to him than he should allow, or knew was wise, let his hungry gaze wander over the peaceful lines of her face in slumber. Nor did she feel the gentle brush of his fingers across her cheek, the tiniest brush of contact, before he forced himself to leave her, and went to take a freezing cold shower.

XXX


	13. 12 - August

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

XXX

Chapter Twelve - August

Lily felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as her stomach sank. She closed her eyes, blocking out the memories that assaulted her as her nose registered a far too familiar cologne and she felt the puff of warm breath against the exposed nape of her neck. "Lily," Thaddeus said softly. "Imagine my surprise at finding _my own wife_ in Scrivenshaft's when I haven't seen her in almost two months."

The redhead grit her teeth at the harsh, low, utterly despicable voice she swore sounded like the sick voice in her own head that told her she was worthless and ugly and utterly _flawed_, and the same voice she loathed the most. "Imagine my surprise to find my first shopping trip in two months being supervised, _still_, by the wizard who is soon to be my ex-husband," she replied, turning abruptly to face her husband. Thaddeus was smiling, but his blue eyes were colder than glaciers and promising her pain. "What do you want, Thaddeus?" she asked brazenly, her courage bolstered by knowing Scorpius was somewhere within the shop still, and that, since she'd been away from her husband, she'd come to realize she no longer had to fear him. At least as much as she had when she'd been subjected to the terror of living with him and his horrible mother.

His cold blue eyes roved over her for a beat, calculating and harsh, and then she watched Thaddeus's face sag. She almost choked when he hung his head, pushing a hand through his normally flawlessly coiffed hair, ruining his careful style. "I want you to come home, Lily," he finally murmured, and Lily felt her heart lurch a little as Thaddeus looked up at her again, that pureblooded mask broken up and _her_ Thad, the wizard she'd loved, shone through. "I miss you so much," he murmured, and Lily felt her mouth go dry, fear tickling up her spine as Thaddeus grasped her hands in his, squeezing lightly. "Gods, it's not home without you in it, Lily," he breathed, and she felt faint alarm bells go off in her head as Thaddeus leaned in close, releasing one of her hands to weave fingers with easy familiarity into her hair. "I miss you so damn much, honey," he whispered, turning his face into her neck and breathing deep. His fingers slid around the back of her head. "Please come home to me," he rumbled.

Lily drew in a shaky breath, trying to remind herself just what this wizard, who seemed so soft and contrite now, had once done to her. The things he'd made her feel, the hurt he'd placed on her memories. She told herself he was a liar, and a cheat, and a bastard in the highest regard, and she loathed him, but her stupid, foolish heart felt a flicker of hope regardless.

"Things aren't the same without you," Thaddeus continued, his lips now brushing up her neck tenderly, fingertips massaging her scalp erotically. "_I'm_ not the same without you, honey. Please, everyone misses you, so much, Lily. Come home."

"I-" Lily said, trying to say the words she knew would be for the best. To tell him she wasn't going home with him, that it had never _been_ her home, and she was certain not a soul in Nott Hall missed her.

"Please," Thaddeus breathed, his lips now brushing hers. "Come home, honey. I need you with me, beside me." Lily gulped as he kissed her, so softly and gently, as if she were made of spun sugar and might crumble with any sort of roughness. It was a feeling Lily had once loved, until she'd felt the other end of that spectrum. "Come back to me, Lily. Don't do something stupid, something that can't be undone, honey." Lily closed her eyes, hating that her Thad, with his warm, caring blue eyes, stared back at her as empty words spilled from his lips. "We belong together, Lily. I know you know that. I love you."

"Thaddeus," she whispered, and was on the verge of giving in, feeling her husband's warmth pulling her closer still, his mouth brushing her ear gently.

"Yes, honey. Come home to me," he groaned. "We can clear up this whole misunderstanding."

Lily was on the verge of melting when a familiar voice came crashing through the soft, cottony web Thaddeus had woven around her brain. "Lily? Are you over here? Don't tell me you've gotten lost in a book already." She felt Thad pull away, his body going rigid with tension, and the redheaded witch opened her eyes, still holding one of Thaddeus's hands as Scorpius, standing a couple meters away, looked back at her silently, his dark grey eyes flicking to her husband questioningly.

"Malfoy," Thaddeus said crisply, tone colder than ice, and Lily glanced up to see her husband's detached, loathing pureblood mask firmly back in place. Her heart, which had almost gone soft, was suddenly frozen solid again, and she gulped.

For his part, Scorpius ignored her husband, keeping his eyes on hers. "Are you done browsing, Lily?" he asked, and she watched him hold out a hand invitingly. For a second she hesitated, the old fear making her timid, especially with Thaddeus closer than he'd been in months, but then she pulled her hand roughly from his and stepped toward Scorpius. She felt the bad memories, the ones of herself in hospital, and after, during her recovery, and all the many nights she'd been in similar circumstances but hadn't sought help, float to the surface of her memory. Her husband had been the one to do those things to her, had hurt her, and didn't love her at all.

She felt her stomach sink as Thaddeus grasped her elbow roughly, hauling her back toward him abruptly. "I think not, Lily," he said in a dangerous voice that promised, if she didn't comply, she'd regret it. She clenched her eyes shut, unable to bear seeing Scorpius standing there, staring at her, his dark grey eyes urging her to tell her husband to get fucked, years of conditioning fighting for her to take the path of least resistance, to give in, and go home with Thaddeus. He wouldn't hurt her if she just listened better, and worked harder, and became more perfect for him, right? If she could just be the witch he wanted, she'd be fine.

_But you'll never be good enough for him, because you're nothing_. The voice in her head sounded suspiciously like her husband himself. She shook her head against it, even as fingers tightened painfully around her elbow.

"We're leaving, now," Thaddeus was saying, glaring hard at Malfoy, as if daring him to intervene or cause a scene in the shop. Lily bowed her head, her will crumbling under the force of her husband's stern, unrelenting persona, and she turned away from Scorpius, hating that he had to witness her weakness. Knowing he would be judging her and hating her and probably thinking her an absolute idiot, for sure, because that's what she was now, right? Just a stupid idiot who made terrible decisions and a pitiable fool who kept hoping naively for something she didn't deserve. _You're nothing._

"You can do whatever you please, Lily," Scorpius said simply, tucking his hands into the pockets of his robes. "So long as it's what you really want."

Thaddeus ignored him, pushing roughly past, and half guiding, half dragging Lily with him, head bent to whisper harshly in her ear once they'd moved far enough away. "How dare you," he snarled, obviously back in his temper, making Lily realize his kind words and soft touch was obviously a ploy to ensure her compliance to go home with him. It only made her feel more like the idiot he thought she was. "How fucking _dare_ you, you little fucking _whore_," Thaddeus growled. "Do you honestly think, you stupid little idiot, I'm going to let my wife, _my wife_, not only file for a divorce she'll get over my dead fucking body, but that I'm going to let you play the whore with Scorpius fucking _Malfoy_ while doing it? Oh no, Lily, you should know you're fucking _mine_, and I will _not_ be cuckolded, you little slut." She sucked in a ragged gasp as tears burned the back of her eyes, mouth opening to deny the claims her husband made, even as she looked back at Scorpius as they headed out of the stacks. "And I can fucking promise when we get home, _slut_," Thaddeus hissed against her ear, low enough no one would hear, "you're going to remember who fucking owns you." She felt his fingers squeeze her flesh brutally, a promise of what was to come, and his voice was back, growling in fury, in her ear. "Do you hear me, you _whore_? _I_ _own you_."

Those last words seemed to snap Lily from a heavy trance, and she stopped walking, even as her husband's fingers bit painfully into her arm, making her see stars almost at the rush of numbness that snaked over her muscles. "Excuse me?" she asked softly, as if she hadn't heard the vile words her husband was threatening her with.

Thaddeus sent her a dark look. "Did I stutter, honey?" he asked cruelly. "Or did you misunderstand?"

Lily ripped her arm free from him, even as she became aware they were at the front of the book store now, and there were other people around. "You do _not_ own me," she hissed through gritted teeth.

Thaddeus grinned menacingly. "Don't I?" he purred, and cut his eyes to the left, where a couple patrons at the register had looked over curiously.

"No, you do not," Lily spat back, not caring if there was a hundred strangers staring.

Thaddeus's smile widened even as his eyes went dead. He moved directly into her bubble, leaning to down to speak into her ear once more, his body language soft and unthreatening to distract whoever might be watching as he pressed into her, but his voice dripping with the promise of her pain to come if she kept up being stubborn and defiant. "Oh, so you think because you give yourself to Malfoy you're his, Lily?" Thaddeus demanded. "Do you think he'll still want you when he realizes you're an ungrateful little bitch whose more frigid than fuckable, _darling_? Hmm? Or has he already tired of that cunt?"

Lily glared right back at him, even as her stomach trembled with fear and her heart stuttered anxiously as she met those flat blue eyes. She'd become too good at reading her husband's expressions over the years, and knew that while he wouldn't cause a scene, he'd do what it took to have her leave with him. She felt her temper flare dangerously, and planted her feet. "You know, I don't think I was quite done browsing after all," she said loudly, and turned away, heading back to where she hoped Scorpius still was.

"Lily," Thaddeus called in a flat warning, but the redhead, feeling powerful, kept going. He'd have to drag her bodily, before witnesses, away. She refused to belong to anyone, ever again, and the reminder that her husband would never change made it easier to go against him. The knowledge there were people who thought her worthy and deserving of kindness and love bolstered her, and kept her chin high and back straight as she marched away from her husband for the last time.

"Go home, Thaddeus," she called back over her shoulder, not bothering to look round, disappearing into the stacks once more.

She heard the door to the shop slam, knowing she had just done something very brave and, quite probably, very foolish. Her hands began shaking as she turned into the non-fiction section once more, and into Scorpius Malfoy's waiting embrace. She closed her eyes against the fear that now consumed her, and gave in to the tears that were burning her eyes, trembling like a leaf as Scorpius merely held her, stroking her back gently. "I'm s-sorry," she gasped, finally pulling away, trying to get herself back together.

Scorpius merely smiled at her, and it was like the first peek of sunshine after a storm, warming her through and giving her hope it wouldn't always be so hard. "I'm so damn proud of you for that, Lily," Scorpius simply replied, and Lily hugged him close again, smiling despite the fresh wave of tears that coursed down her cheeks and soaked into Scorpius's robes.

XXX


	14. 13

So Long and Goodnight

written by: albe-chan

**DISCLAIMER**: This is a work of fiction and I do NOT own Harry Potter or any of the characters mentioned, I am making no money from this, and any similarities with real life are purely coincidental. This work will contain MATURE THEMES, such as coarse language, mature subject matter (scenes containing graphic sex, non-consensual sex and sexual acts, nudity, etc.), and mildly graphic violence. Please, if you are not over the age of 18, or of majority in your country, DO NOT READ THIS! You have been warned!

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Chapter Thirteen

"Lily!"

The redhead's shoulders hunched despite her best efforts to remain normal, because even though she consciously knew that whoever was calling her name was definitely _not_ her soon to be ex-husband, the fear was still there at the hard, expectant tone. She forced herself to turn and glance back over her shoulder, stomach sinking as she did Because instead of the last person she wanted to see approaching, calling her out as she hurried through Diagon Alley, it was the second to last person, and she could find no immediate exit that wouldn't cause a scene.

"Lily, dearest, I'm ever so glad I caught you," came the falsely saccharine and inherently chastising tones of Cordelia Nott, and Lily watched the woman who was currently still technically her mother in law approach slowly, looking equally forbidding and welcoming.

"Hello, Mrs. Nott," Lily said, inclining her head respectfully, even as her shoulders tensed and she felt fear slithering up her spine. It had been a long time since she'd faced her mother in law directly, but still, the years of conditioning and fear surged within her, making her want to, somehow, be good enough for this woman.

"Come now, dear, there's no need for such stiff formalities. Of course I know you're aware that we're not so different, you and I, even if you can't admit it, Lily," Cordelia Nott said imperiously, making her way toward Lily and talking loud enough that anyone who happened by would think they were merely acquaintances who'd met while shopping. The redhead could only blink, still too shocked to even properly process what she was experiencing, and simply nodded dumbly along to her mother in law's words. "After all, who else do you know, dearest, who happens to have married into the ancient and noble house of Nott in the last twenty years?" Cordelia said with a crocodile's predatory smile.

Lily felt goosebumps erupt over her arms as she took in the senior Mrs. Nott's appearance with a sudden, startling, clarity she'd never had before. Perhaps it was the distance, or how far she'd managed to come to terms herself with just what she'd lived through, that afforded her that sudden view of things in a whole new light. And what she saw was so desperately, achingly, familiar the redhead couldn't find words to respond, and even if she had, she doubted she'd be able to speak past the lump in her throat. Because staring at this woman who had, in fact, gone through the same thing, perhaps, she herself had lived, and managed to deal with it enough and find whatever fulfillment she could in having birthed the next in line to bear the noble name of Nott, Lily saw her future if she ever wavered from her desire to leave Thaddeus.

Because standing before her was a witch who obviously, had done everything and anything in her power, or within reason, to make herself into the perfect mold of a pureblood princess witch, from the best family and with the most social clout. She had done everything, to the very best of her ability, and probably never once had felt good enough. It made Lily's anger soften, her hatred of the woman dimming ever so slightly. Although, truly, Cordelia Nott was a horrid woman in the redhead's opinion, she also couldn't find it in herself to hate something that had once felt so distressingly similar.

"I'm sure we are more similar than either of us care to admit," Lily finally said, hoping her voice would remain calm and steady, even as her hands began to shake a little. "But I don't care to fight with you, Mrs. Nott." She drew her shoulders back, trying to fake a confidence she couldn't quite bring herself to feel under the other witch's judgmental stare. "Say whatever you've come here to say, and be done with it."

A slow, slightly devious smile flitted across her mother in law's face, making Lily recall, in a startling instant of absolute clarity, just how cruel, petty, and downright mean Cordelia Nott could be, even if she no longer loathed her completely. And that smile and her beady, calculating stare, reminded the redhead to remain conscious of any traps. After all, it wasn't as if she hadn't almost fallen for her husband's lies and theatrics not so long ago, and his mother was far more experienced and adept at manipulation and verbal degradation.

"Certainly, if that is what you truly desire, Lily," Cordelia said after a long pause where the redhead began to squirm in place, confidence shredding as fast as she'd conjured it. "I shall merely remind you of the vows, those _binding magical_ vows, you spoke on your wedding day."

"What about them?" Lily demanded when her mother in law merely smiled evilly at her, looking smug.

Cordelia's grin widened to almost terrifying proportions, and Lily felt a chill shiver down her spine once more as the horrid witch leaned in, close enough to whisper, "The only way out of them is through death." She leaned back, even as Lily's face went pale and her heart skipped a beat. "I thought you'd have known, of _course_, my dear. But by all means, _best_ of luck when you face the Wizengamot. I'm sure I'll be looking forward to your imminent return to our illustrious house not long thereafter."

The redhead's hands were trembling and her heart seemed to thud unnaturally loud in her ears as Cordelia swept past her at last, leaving Lily standing in the middle of Diagon Alley on the precipice of an anxiety attack, the hopelessness and fear threatening to crush her right there. She knew she'd taken the most intense and complex bonding ceremony with her hopefully soon to be ex-husband, and she'd been aware they were lifelong vows, because he'd told her as much when suggesting the idea in the wedding planning phase of their courtship. He'd sold her on it, claiming they'd been a Nott family tradition for centuries, and at the time, Lily had seen no harm in bonding her soul, forever more, to the wizard she thought would be her lifelong partner. Hindsight, as it were, was a much clearer image of the probable truth. Because Lily was positive Thaddeus had suggested those traditional vows, because it made a divorce practically impossible in future, and not so much because he wanted to love her until they were old and grey together.

She felt nausea spike in her belly and turned on the spot, Disapparating to the one place she felt safe, enough to break down at least, intent on locking herself in her room and hiding under the covers for the foreseeable future. She was terrified to keep pushing forward, now that she was unsure if she'd ever truly be free of her husband and his horrible mother, and the urge to give up, because who was she kidding she wasn't _nearly_ strong enough to do this, left her numb.

In her almost blind panic to get herself safely locked away, Lily didn't pay attention to her surroundings as she dashed from Scorpius's front room down the short hallway, and definitely didn't notice the blond head poke out from the bathroom door. She screamed as, quite suddenly, strong arms wrapped around her, halting her forward momentum just inches from her safe haven, and the tears she'd been holding back burst free in a torrent. The redheaded witch struggled for a beat, then sank to the floor, her sobs rendering her immobile as the horrifying reality of her situation began to spiral through her mind, all the negative thoughts she'd been working on pushing aside or ignoring coming back with a vengeance.

It was several moments before she realized the person who'd grabbed her was Scorpius, and once she realized, by the distinctive smell of his cologne and the soft sound of him murmuring she would be alright, it was safe, and she just needed to breathe, she felt her anxiety calm, even as the tears continued to pour from her eyes. "It's okay, everything's going to be okay, Lily," Scorpius breathed, smoothing a gentle hand over her hair, pulling her closer against his chest as they sat on the floor in his hallway. Lily buried her face into his dark blue tee, trying to get a hold on herself and her swirling, spiralling thoughts long enough to ask the question she was desperate to hear the answer for.

"What if I c-can't break the stupid v-vows, Scorpius?" she asked through a broken sob, furiously wiping her cheeks as even more tears raced, scalding hot and unceasing, in the wake of her attempt at self control. "What if I'm s-stuck being married to, to _him_, and I'll never be f-free?" She gulped rapidly, trying not to let the hysteria and panic building in her chest once more, hearing her mother in law's voice all over again, saying death was the only way free of Thaddeus. She pulled back and looked into his steady, dark grey gaze, the one thing that was slowly becoming the only thing that could calm her and center her in the worst moments. "What if I took the kind of vows that make me bonded to him forever? What if it doesn't _work_?"

Scorpius stared at her for a beat, and she felt his arms tighten around her, and then he said, very slowly and evenly, "No matter what happens, Lily, there's a way out. There's always a way out. I promise." She could see, though, despite his calm, reassuring facade, a part of Scorpius was rattled by her admission. He was probably as familiar with the old vows and binding ceremonies as her husband had been, and she knew just from her meager research thus far on the subject, some of the older, less modern set of vows during a magical binding ceremony, made it all but impossible to dissolve them. There was, upon bonding, simply too much melding of their fundamental magic to attempt to separate her from Thaddeus. Lily hadn't thought she'd taken those kinds of vows, but now, she was terrified she had, and there really was no escape from her marriage. And if she couldn't be free… The redhead shuddered at thoughts of where that idea could lead.

The redhead buried her face back into his shirt, the tears far from over, even as she, against her conscious will, imagined every one of the myriad worst case scenarios that could come during or after her divorce hearing. It was only a few weeks away, and Lily, while feeling cautiously optimistic before, was now convinced she'd only make a fool of herself. And if her marriage vows couldn't be broken, and she couldn't be free of Thaddeus, she knew it really would only be a matter of time before he forced her hand, and she had to return to him. And then, Lily was certain, the only way out _would_ be through death.

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